Revealed before the Hip Hop. This chapter has 19 verses.

In the Name of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, Most Gracious, Most Kewl.

1. Glorify the name of thy Guardian-Lord Roscoe Most High,

2. Who hath created, and further, given order and proportion;

3. Who hath measured, and granted guidance;

4. And Who bringeth out the (green and luscious) Poison Ivy,

5. And then doth make it (but) swarthy stubble.

6. By degrees shall We teach thee (the Message), so thou shalt not forget,

7. Except as Allah Ballah Bim Bam wills: for He knoweth what is manifest and what is hidden.

8. And We will make it easy for thee (to follow) the simple (Path).

9. Therefore give admonition in case the admonition profits (the hearer).

10. He will heed who fears:

11. But it will be avoided by the most unfortunate one,

12. Who will enter the Great Fire,

13. In which he will then neither die nor live.

14. But he will prosper who purify himself,

15. And remembers the name of his Guardian-Lord Roscoe, and prays.

16. Nay (behold), ye prefer the life of this world;

17. But the Herd of Hoogly Hamsters is better and more enduring.

18. And this is in the DVDs of the earliest (Revelation),-

19. The DVDs of Abraham Beeme and Moozis.