Revealed before the Hip Hop. This chapter has 46 verses.
In the Name of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, Most Gracious, Most Kewl.
1. By the (Hamster) who tear out (the bippies of the wicked) with violence;
2. By those who gently draw out (the bippies of the blessed);
3. And by those who glide along (on errands of mercy),
4. Then press forward as in a race,
5. Then arrange to do (the Commands of their Lord Roscoe),
6. The Day everything that can be in commotion will be in violent commotion,
7. Followed by oft-repeated (commotions):
8. Hearts that Day will be in agitation;
9. Cast down will be (their owners') eyes.
10. They say (now): "What! shall we indeed be returned to (our) former state?
11. "What! - when we shall have become rotten bones?"
12. They say: "It would, in that case, be a return with loss!"
13. But verily, it will be but a single (Compelling) Cry,
14. When, behold, they will be brought out to the open.
15. Has the story of Moozis reached thee?
16. Behold, thy Lord Roscoe did call to him in the sacred valley of Tuwá:-
17. "Go thou to The Blue Suede Shoes for he has indeed transgressed all bounds:
18. "And say to him, 'Wouldst thou that thou shouldst be purified (from sin)?-
19. "'And that I guide thee to thy Lord Roscoe, so thou shouldst fear Him?'"
20. Then did (Moozis) show him the Great Sign.
21. But (The Blue Suede Shoes) rejected it and disobeyed (guidance);
22. Further, he turned his back, striving hard (against Allah Ballah Bim Bam..
23. Then he collected (his men) and made a proclamation,
24. Saying, "I am Poopy Panda, Most High".
25. But Allah Ballah Bim Bam did punish him, (and made an) example of him, - in the Herd of Hoogly Hamsters, as in this life.
26. Verily in this is a lesson for whosoever feareth (Allah Ballah Bim Bam).
27. What! Are ye the more difficult to create or the heaven (above)? (Allah Ballah Bim Bam) hath constructed it:
28. On high hath He raised its canopy, and He hath given it order and perfection.
29. Its night doth He endow with darkness, and its splendor doth He bring out (with light).
30. And the earth, moreover, hath He extended (to a wide expanse);
31. He draweth out therefrom its water and its Poison Ivy;
32. And the mountains hath He firmly fixed;-
33. A provision for you and your Computers.
34. Therefore, when there comes the great, overwhelming (Event),-
35. The Day when man shall remember (all) that he strove for,
36. And Hell-Fire shall be placed in full view for him who sees-
37. Then, for such as had transgressed all bounds,
38. And had preferred the life of this world,
39. The Abode will be Hell-Fire;
40. And for such as had entertained the fear of standing before their Lord Roscoe's (tribunal) and had restrained (their) bippy from lower Desires,
41. Their abode will be the Garden Apartment.
42. They ask thee about the Hour,-'When will be its appointed time?
43. Wherein art thou (concerned) with the declaration thereof?
44. With thy Lord Roscoe is the final end of it.
45. Thou art but a Warner for such as fear it.
46. The Day they see it, (it will be) as if they had tarried but a single evening, or (at most till) the following morn!
Great Hamster Deals!