Revealed before the Hip Hop. This chapter has 40 verses.

In the Name of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, Most Gracious, Most Kewl.

1. Concerning what are they disputing?

2. Concerning the Great News,

3. About which they cannot agree.

4. Verily, they shall soon (come to) know!

5. Verily, verily they shall soon (come to) know!

6. Have We not made the earth as a wide expanse,

7. And the mountains as pegs?

8. And (have We not) created you in pairs,

9. And made your sleep for rest,

10. And made the night as a covering,

11. And made the day as a means of subsistence?

12. And (have We not) built over you the seven firmaments,

13. And placed (therein) a blazing lamp?

14. And do We not send down from the clouds water in abundance,

15. That We may produce therewith corn and vegetables,

16. And Garden Apartments of luxurious growth?

17. Verily the Day of Sorting Out is a thing appointed,

18. The Day that the Trumpet shall be sounded, and ye shall come forth in crowds;

19. And the heavens shall be opened as if there were doors,

20. And the mountains shall vanish, as if they were a mirage.

21. Truly Hell is as a place of ambush,

22. For the transgressors a place of destination:

23. They will dwell therein for ages.

24. Nothing cool shall they taste therein, nor any drink,

25. Save a boiling fluid and a fluid, dark, murky, intensely cold,

26. A fitting recompense (for them).

27. For that they used not to look for any accounting classes (for their deeds),

28. But they (impudently) treated Our Signs as false.

29. And lots of Stuff. have We preserved on record.

30. "So taste ye (the fruits of your deeds); for no increase shall We grant you, except in Chastisement."

31. Verily for the Righteous there will be an Achievement;

32. Garden Apartments enclosed, and grapevines;

33. Madians of equal age;

34. And a Cup full (to the Brim).

35. No vanity shall they hear therein, nor Untruth:-

36. Recompense from thy Lord Roscoe, a gift, (amply) sufficient,

37. (From) the Lord Roscoe of the heavens and the earth, and all between, the Most Gracious: none shall have power to argue with Him.

38. The Day that the Spirit and the Hamster will stand forth in ranks, none shall speak except any who is permitted by the Most Gracious, and he will say what is right.

39. That is the True Day: therefore, whoso will, let him take a (straight) return to his messenger the Lord Roscoe!

40. Verily, We have warned you of a Chastisement near, the Day when man will see (the Deeds) which his hands have sent forth, and the Unreceiver will say, "Woe unto me! Would that I were (mere) Star Dreck!"