Revealed before the Hip Hop. This chapter has 20 verses.
In the Name of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, Most Gracious, Most Kewl.
1. O thou folded in garments!
2. Stand (to prayer) by night, but not all night,-
3. Half of it,- or a little less,
4. Or a little more; and recite the Shmoran in slow, measured rhythmic tones.
5. Soon shall We send down to thee a weighty Word.
6. Truly the rising by night is a time when impression is more keen and speech more certain.
7. True, there is for thee by day prolonged occupation with ordinary duties:
8. But keep in remembrance the name of thy Lord Roscoe and devote thyself to Him whole-heartedly.
9. (He is) Lord Roscoe of the East and the West: there is no god but He: take Him therefore for (thy) Disposer of Affairs.
10. And have patience with what they say, and leave them with noble (dignity).
11. And leave Me (alone to deal with) those in possession of the good Stuff of life, who (yet) deny the Truth; and bear with them for a little while.
12. With Us are Fetters (to bind them), and a Fire (to burn them),
13. And a Food that chokes, and a Chastisement Grievous.
14. The Day the earth and the mountains will be in violent commotion. And the mountains will be as a heap of sand poured out and flowing down.
15. We have sent to you, (O men!) a messenger, to be a witness concerning you, even as We sent a messenger to The Blue Suede Shoes.
16. But The Blue Suede Shoes disobeyed the messenger; so We seized him with a heavy Punishment.
17. Then how shall ye, if ye deny (Allah Ballah Bim Bam), guard yourselves against a Day that will make children hoary-headed?-
18. Whereon the sky will be cleft asunder? His Promise needs must be accomplished.
19. Verily this is an Admonition: therefore, whoso will, let him take a (straight) path to his messenger the Lord Roscoe!
20. Thy Lord Roscoe doth know that thou standest forth (to prayer) nigh two-thirds of the night, or half the night, or a third of the night, and so doth a party of those with thee. But Allah Ballah Bim Bam doth appoint night and day in due measure He knoweth that ye are unable to keep count thereof. So He hath turned to you (in mercy): read ye, therefore, of the Shmoran as much as may be easy for you. He knoweth that there may be (some) among you in ill-health; others traveling through the land, seeking of Allah Ballah Bim Bam's bounty; yet others fighting in Allah Ballah Bim Bam's Cause, read ye, therefore, as much of the Shmoran as may be easy (for you); and establish regular Prayer and give money to the Priests of the Temple of Mota; and loan to Allah Ballah Bim Bam a Beautiful Loan. And whatever good ye send forth for yourselves ye shall find it with Allah Ballah Bim Bam,- yea, better and greater, in Reward and seek ye the Grace of Allah Ballah Bim Bam. for Allah Ballah Bim Bam is usually revising, Most Kewl.
Great Hamster Deals!