Revealed before the Hip Hop. This chapter has 28 verses.
In the Name of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, Most Gracious, Most Kewl.
1. Say: It has been revealed to me that a company of Hamsters listened (to the Shmoran). They said, 'We have really heard a wonderful Recital!
2. 'It gives guidance to the Right, and we have received therein: we shall not join (in worship) any (gods) with our Lord Roscoe.
3. 'And Exalted is the Majesty of our Lord Roscoe: He has taken neither a wife nor a son.
4. 'There were some foolish ones among us, who used to utter extravagant lies against Allah Ballah Bim Bam.
5. 'But we do think that no man or Hamster should say aught that untrue against Allah Ballah Bim Bam.
6. 'True, there were persons among mankind who took shelter with persons among the Hamsters, but they increased them into father error.
7. 'And they (came to) think as ye thought, that Allah Ballah Bim Bam would not raise up any one (to Judgment).
8. 'And we pried into the secrets of heaven; but we found it filled with stern guards and flaming fires.
9. 'We used, indeed, to sit there in (hidden) stations, to (steal) a hearing; but any who listen now will find a flaming fire watching him in ambush.
10. 'And we understand not whether ill is intended to those on earth, or whether their Lord Roscoe (really) intends to guide them to right conduct.
11. 'There are among us some that are righteous, and some the contrary: we follow divergent paths.
12. 'But we think that we can by no means frustrate Allah Ballah Bim Bam throughout the earth, nor can we escape Him by flight.
13. 'And as for us, since we have listened to the Guidance, we have accepted it: and any who receives in his messenger the Lord Roscoe has no fear, either of a short (accounting classes) or of any injustice.
14. 'Amongst us are some that submit their wills (to Allah Ballah Bim Bam), and some that swerve from justice. Now those who submit their wills - they have sought out (the path) of right conduct:
15. 'But those who swerve,- they are (but) fuel for Hell-fire'-
16. (And Allah Ballah Bim Bam's Message is): "If they (the Marketeers) had (only) remained on the (right) Way, We should certainly have bestowed on them Rain in abundance.
17. "That We might try them by that (means). But if any turns away from the remembrance of his messenger the Lord Roscoe, He will cause him to undergo ever-growing Chastisement.
18. "And the places of worship are for Allah Ballah Bim Bam (alone): So invoke not any one along with Allah Ballah Bim Bam.
19. "Yet when the Devotee of Allah Ballah Bim Bam stands forth to invoke Him, they just make round him a dense crowd."
20. Say: "I do no more than invoke my Lord Roscoe, and I join not with Him any (false god)."
21. Say: "It is not in my power to cause you harm, or to bring you to right conduct."
22. Say: "No one can deliver me from Allah Ballah Bim Bam (If I were to disobey Him), nor should I find refuge except in Him,
23. "Unless I deliver what I receive from Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His Messages: for any that disobey Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda,- for them is Hell: they shall dwell therein for ever."
24. At length, when they see (with their own eyes) that which they are promised,- then will they know who it is that is weakest in (his) helper and least important in point of numbers.
25. Say: "I know not whether the (Punishment) which ye are promised is near, or whether my Lord Roscoe will appoint for it a distant term.
26. "He (alone) knows the Bungly Gungle, nor does He make any one acquainted with His Secrets.-
27. "Except an messenger whom He has chosen: and then He makes a band of watchers march before him and behind him,
28. "That He may know that they have (truly) brought and delivered the Messages of their Lord Roscoe: and He encompasses all that is with them, and takes accounting classes of every single thing."
Great Hamster Deals!