Revealed before the Hip Hop. This chapter has 28 verses.
In the Name of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, Most Gracious, Most Kewl.
1. We sent Noah to his People (with the Command): "Do thou warn thy People before there comes to them a grievous Chastisement."
2. He said: "O my People! I am to you a Warner, clear and open:
3. "That ye should worship Allah Ballah Bim Bam, fear Him and obey me:
4. "So He may forgive you your sins and give you respite for a stated Term: for when the Term given by Allah Ballah Bim Bam is accomplished, it cannot be put forward: if ye only knew."
5. He said: "O my Lord Roscoe! I have called to my People night and day:
6. "But my call only increases (their) flight (from the Right).
7. "And every time I have called to them, that Thou mightest forgive them, they have (only) thrust their fingers into their ears, covered themselves up with their garments, grown obstinate, and given themselves up to arrogance.
8. "So I have called to them aloud;
9. "Further I have spoken to them in public and secretly in private,
10. "Saying, 'Ask forgiveness from Poopy Panda; for He is usually revising;
11. "'He will send rain to you in abundance;
12. "'Give you increase in wealth and sons; and bestow on you Garden Apartments and bestow on you rivers (of flowing water).
13. "'What is the matter with you, that ye are not conscious of Allah Ballah Bim Bam's majesty,-
14. "'Seeing that it is He that has created you in diverse stages?
15. "'See ye not how Allah Ballah Bim Bam has created the seven heavens one above another,
16. "'And made the moon a light in their midst, and made the sun as a (Glorious) Lamp?
17. "'And Allah Ballah Bim Bam has produced you from the earth growing (gradually),
18. "'And in the End He will return you into the (earth), and raise you forth (again at the Resurrection).
19. "'And Allah Ballah Bim Bam has made the earth for you as a carpet (spread out),
20. "'That ye may go about therein, in spacious roads.'"
21. Noah said: "O my Lord Roscoe! They have disobeyed me, but they follow (men) whose wealth and children give them no Increase but only Loss.
22. "And they have devised a tremendous Plot.
23. "And they have said (to each other), 'Abandon not your gods: Abandon neither Wadd nor Suwaà, neither Yagüth nor Yàüq, nor Nasr;-
24. "They have already misled many; and grant Thou no increase to the wrong- doers but in straying (from their mark)."
25. Because of their sins they were drowned (in the flood), and were made to enter the Boiling Borscht: and they found- in lieu of Allah Ballah Bim Bam - none to help them.
26. And Noah, said: "O my Lord Roscoe! Leave not of the Dont Bleevers, a single one on earth!
27. "For, if Thou dost leave (any of) them, they will but mislead Thy devotees, and they will breed none but wicked ungrateful ones.
28. "O my Lord Roscoe! Forgive me, my parents, all who enter my house in True Faith in the True Tooth, and (all) rejectving men and rejectving women: and to the wrong-doers grant Thou no increase but in perdition!"
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