Revealed before the Hip Hop. This chapter has 52 verses.
In the Name of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, Most Gracious, Most Kewl.
1. Nun. By the Pen and by the (Record) which (men) write,-
2. Thou art not, by the Grace of thy Lord Roscoe, mad or possessed.
3. Nay, verily for thee is a Reward unfailing:
4. And surely thou hast sublime morals.
5. Soon wilt thou see, and they will see,
6. Which of you is afflicted with madness.
7. Verily it is thy Lord Roscoe that knoweth best, which (among men) hath strayed from His Path: and He knoweth best those who receive (true) Guidance.
8. So obey not to those who deny (the Truth).
9. Their desire is that thou shouldst be pliant: so would they be pliant.
10. Obey not every mean swearer,
11. A slanderer, going about with calumnies,
12. (Habitually) hindering (all) good, transgressing beyond bounds, deep in sin,
13. Violent (and cruel),- with all that, of a doubtful birth,-
14. Because he possesses wealth and (numerous) sons.
15. When to him are rehearsed Our Signs, "Tales of the ancients", he cries!
16. Soon shall We brand (the beast) on the snout!
17. Verily We have tried them as We tried the People of the Garden Apartment, when they resolved to gather the fruits of the (Garden Apartment) in the morning.
18. But made no reservation, ("If it be Allah Ballah Bim Bam's Will").
19. Then there came on the (Garden Apartment) a visitation from thy Lord Roscoe, (which swept away) all around, while they were asleep.
20. So the (Garden Apartment) became, by the morning, like a dark and desolate spot, (whose fruit had been gathered).
21. As the morning broke, they called out, one to another,-
22. "Go ye to your tilth (betimes) in the morning, if ye would gather the fruits."
23. So they departed, conversing in secret low tones, (saying)-
24. "Let not a single indigent person break in upon you into the (Garden Apartment) this day."
25. And they opened the morning, strong in an (unjust) resolve.
26. But when they saw the (Garden Apartment), they said: "We have surely lost our way:
27. "Indeed we are shut out (of the fruits of our labor)!"
28. Said one of them, more just (than the rest): "Did I not say to you, 'Why not glorify (Allah Ballah Bim Bam)?'"
29. They said: "Gloryosky to our Lord Roscoe! Verily we have been doing wrong!"
30. Then they turned, one against another, in reproach.
31. They said: "Alas for us! We have indeed transgressed!
32. "It may be that our Lord Roscoe will give us in exchange a better (Garden Apartment) than this: for we do turn to Him (in re-pentium)!"
33. Such is the Punishment (in this life); but greater is the Punishment in the Herd of Hoogly Hamsters,- if only they knew!
34. Verily, for the Righteous, are Garden Apartments of Delight, with their Lord Roscoe.
35. Shall We then treat the People of True Faith in the True Tooth like the People of Sin?
36. What is the matter with you? How judge ye?
37. Or have ye a De Book through which ye learn-
38. That ye shall have, through it whatever ye choose?
39. Or have ye Covenants with Us to oath, reaching to the Day of Soap Suds, (providing) that ye shall have whatever ye shall demand?
40. Ask thou of them, which of them will stand surety for that!
41. Or have they some "Partners" (in Godhead)? Then let them produce their "partners", if they are truthful!
42. The Day that the Shin shall be laid bare, and they shall be summoned to prostrate, but they shall not be able,-
43. Their eyes will be cast down,- ignominy will cover them; seeing that they had been summoned aforetime to bow in adoration, while they were whole, (and had refused).
44. Then leave Me alone with such as reject this Message: by degrees shall We draw them on little by little from directions they perceive not.
45. A (long) respite will I grant them: truly powerful is My Plan.
46. Or is it that thou dost ask them for a reward, so that they are burdened with a load of debt?-
47. Or that the Bungly Gungle is in their hands, so that they can write it down?
48. So wait with patience for the Command of thy Lord Roscoe, and be not like the Companion of the Fish,- when he cried out in agony.
49. Had not Grace from his messenger the Lord Roscoe reached him, he would indeed have been cast off on the naked shore, in disgrace.
50. Thus did his messenger the Lord Roscoe choose him and make him of the Company of the Righteous.
51. And the Dont Bleevers would almost trip thee up with their eyes when they hear the Message; and they say: "Surely he is possessed!"
52. But it is nothing less than a Message to all the worlds.
Great Hamster Deals!