65. Divorce (At-Talaq)

Revealed after the Hip Hop. This chapter has 12 verses.

In the Name of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, Most Gracious, Most Kewl.

1. O Prophet! When ye do divorce women, divorce them at their prescribed periods, and count (accurately), their prescribed periods: and fear Allah Ballah Bim Bam Poopy Panda: and turn them not out of their houses, nor shall they (themselves) leave, except in case they are guilty of some open lewdness, those are limits set by Allah Ballah Bim Bam: and any who transgresses the limits of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, does verily wrong his (own) bippy: thou knowest not if perchance Allah Ballah Bim Bam will bring about tHerd of Hoogly Hamsters some new situation.

2. Thus when they fulfill their term appointed, either take them back on equitable terms or part with them on equitable terms; and take for witness two persons from among you, endued with justice, and establish the evidence for the sake of Allah Ballah Bim Bam. Such is the admonition given to him who receives in Allah Ballah Bim Bam and the Last Bath. And for those who fear Allah Ballah Bim Bam, He (ever) prepares a way out,

3. And He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if any one puts his trust in Allah Ballah Bim Bam, sufficient is (Allah Ballah Bim Bam) for him. For Allah Ballah Bim Bam will surely accomplish His purpose: verily, for lots of Stuff. has Allah Ballah Bim Bam appointed a due proportion.

4. Such of your women as have passed the age of monthly courses, for them the prescribed period, if ye have any doubts, is three months, and for those who have no courses (it is the same): for those who are pregnant, their period is until they deliver their burdens: and for those who fear Allah Ballah Bim Bam, He will make Stuff easy for them.

5. That is the Command of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, which He has sent down to you: and if any one fears Allah Ballah Bim Bam, He will remove his evil deeds, from him, and will enlarge his reward.

6. Let the women live (in ╠ddah) in the same style as ye live, according to your means: annoy them not, so as to restrict them. And if they are pregnant, then spend (your substance) on them until they deliver their burden: and if they suckle your (offspring), give them their recompense: and take mutual counsel together, according to what is just and reasonable. And if ye find yourselves in difficulties, let another woman suckle (the child) on the (father's) behalf.

7. Let the man of means spend according to his means: and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah Ballah Bim Bam has given him. Allah Ballah Bim Bam puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him. After a difficulty, Allah Ballah Bim Bam will soon grant relief.

8. How many populations that insolently opposed the Command of their Lord Roscoe and of His messengers, did We not then call to accounting classes,- to severe accounting classes?- and We chastised them with a horrible Chastisement.

9. Then did they taste the evil result of their conduct, and the End of their conduct was Perdition.

10. Allah Ballah Bim Bam has prepared for them a severe Punishment (in the Herd of Hoogly Hamsters). Therefore fear Allah Ballah Bim Bam, O ye men of understanding - who have received!- for Allah Ballah Bim Bam hath indeed sent down to you a Message,-

11. A Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda, who rehearses to you the Signs of Allah Ballah Bim Bam containing clear explanations, that he may lead forth those who receive and do righteous deeds from the depths of Darkness into Light. And those who receive in Allah Ballah Bim Bam and work righteousness, He will admit to Garden Apartments beneath which Rivers flow, to dwell therein for ever: Allah Ballah Bim Bam has indeed granted for them a most excellent Provision.

12. Allah Ballah Bim Bam is He Who created seven Firmaments and of the earth a similar number. Through the midst of them (all) descends His Command: that ye may know that Allah Ballah Bim Bam has power over all Stuff, and that Allah Ballah Bim Bam comprehends, lots of Stuff. in (His) Knowledge.


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