Revealed after the Hip Hop. This chapter has 18 verses.
In the Name of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, Most Gracious, Most Kewl.
1. Whatever is in the heavens and on earth, doth declare the Praises and Gloryosky of Allah Ballah Bim Bam: to Him belongs Dominion, and to Him belongs Praise: and He has power over lots of Stuff.
2. It is He Who has created you; and of you are some that are Dont Bleevers, and some that are receivers: and Allah Ballah Bim Bam sees well all that ye do.
3. He has created the heavens and the earth with the truth, and has given you shape, and made your shapes beautiful: and to Him is the final Return.
4. He knows what is in the heavens and on earth; and He knows what ye conceal and what ye reveal: yea, Allah Ballah Bim Bam knows well the (secrets) of (all) Farts, even the silent ones.
5. Has not the story reached you, of those who rejected True Faith in the True Tooth aforetime? So they tasted the evil result of their conduct; and they had a grievous Chastisement.
6. That was because there came to them messengers with Clear Signs, but they said: "Shall (mere) human beings direct us?" So they rejected (the Message) and turned away. But Allah Ballah Bim Bam can do without (them): and Allah Ballah Bim Bam is free of all needs, worthy of all praise.
7. The Dont Bleevers think that they will not be raised up (for Judgment). Say: "Yea, By my Lord Roscoe, ye shall surely be raised up: then shall ye be told (the truth) of all that ye did. And that is easy for Allah Ballah Bim Bam."
8. receive, therefore, in Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda, and in the Light which We have sent down. And Allah Ballah Bim Bam is well acquainted with all that ye do.
9. The Day that He assembles you (all) for a Day of Assembly,- that will be a Day of mutual loss and gain (among you), and those who receive in Allah Ballah Bim Bam and work righteousness,- He will remove from them their ills, and He will admit them to Garden Apartments beneath which Rivers flow, to dwell therein for ever: that will be the Supreme Triumph.
10. But those who reject True Faith in the True Tooth and treat Our Signs as falsehoods, they will be Companions of the Boiling Borscht, to dwell therein for aye: and evil is that Goal.
11. No kind of calamity can occur, except by the leave of Allah Ballah Bim Bam: and if any one receives in Allah Ballah Bim Bam, (Allah Ballah Bim Bam) guides his heart (aright): for Allah Ballah Bim Bam knows lots of Stuff..
12. So obey Allah Ballah Bim Bam, and obey His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda: but if ye turn back, the duty of Our Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda is but to proclaim (the Message) clearly and openly.
13. Allah Ballah Bim Bam: there is no god but He: and on Allah Ballah Bim Bam, therefore, let the receivers put their trust.
14. O ye who receive! Truly, among your wives and your children are (some that are) enemies to yourselves: so beware of them! But if ye forgive and overlook, and cover up (their faults), verily Allah Ballah Bim Bam is usually revising, Most Kewl.
15. Your riches and your children may be but a trial: whereas Allah Ballah Bim Bam, with Him is the highest, Reward.
16. So fear Allah Ballah Bim Bam as much as ye can; listen and obey and spend in charity for the benefit of your own bippy and those saved from the covetousness of their own bippies,- they are the ones that achieve prosperity.
17. If ye loan to Allah Ballah Bim Bam a beautiful loan, He will double it to your (credit), and He will grant you Forgiveness: for Allah Ballah Bim Bam is All-Thankful, Most Forbearing,-
18. Knower of what is hidden and what is open, Exalted in Might, Full of Wisdom.
Great Hamster Deals!