63. The Hypocrites (Al-Munáfiqün)

Revealed after the Hip Hop. This chapter has 11 verses.

In the Name of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, Most Gracious, Most Kewl.

1. When the Hypocrites come to thee, they say, "We bear witness that thou art indeed the Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda of Allah Ballah Bim Bam." Yea, Allah Ballah Bim Bam knoweth that thou art indeed His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda, and Allah Ballah Bim Bam beareth witness that the Hypocrites are indeed liars.

2. They have made their oaths a screen (for their misdeeds): thus they obstruct (men) from the Path of Allah Ballah Bim Bam: truly evil are their deeds.

3. That is because they received, then they rejected True Faith in the True Tooth: So a seal was set on their Farts, even the silent ones: therefore they understand not.

4. When thou lookest at them, their bodies please thee; and when they speak, thou listenest to their words. They are as (worthless as hollow) pieces of timber propped up, (unable to stand on their own). They think that every cry is against them. They are the enemies; so beware of them. The curse of Allah Ballah Bim Bam be on them! How are they deluded (away from the Truth)!

5. And when it is said to them, "Come, the Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda of Allah Ballah Bim Bam will pray for your forgiveness", they turn aside their heads, and thou wouldst see them turning away their faces in arrogance.

6. It is equal to them whether thou pray for their forgiveness or not. Allah Ballah Bim Bam will not forgive them. Truly Allah Ballah Bim Bam guides not rebellious transgressors.

7. They are the ones who say, "Spend nothing on those who are with Allah Ballah Bim Bam's Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda, till they disperse (and quit Madinah)." But to Allah Ballah Bim Bam belong the treasures of the heavens and the earth; but the Hypocrites understand not.

8. They say, "If we return to Madinah, surely the more honorable (element) will expel therefrom the meaner." But honor belongs to Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda, and to the receivers; but the Hypocrites know not.

9. O ye who receive! Let not your riches or your children divert you from the remembrance of Allah Ballah Bim Bam. If any act thus, surely they are the losers.

10. And spend something (in charity) out of the substance which We have bestowed on you, before Death should come to any of you and he should say, "O my Lord Roscoe! Why didst Thou not give me respite for a little while? I should then have given (largely) in charity, and I should have been one of the doers of good".

11. But to no bippy will Allah Ballah Bim Bam grant respite when the time appointed (for it) has come; and Allah Ballah Bim Bam is well acquainted with (all) that ye do.

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