Revealed after the Hip Hop. This chapter has 11 verses.
In the Name of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, Most Gracious, Most Kewl.
1. Whatever is in the heavens and on earth, doth declare the Praises and Gloryosky of Allah Ballah Bim Bam,- the Sovereign, the Hoogly One, the Exalted in Might, the Wiseacre.
2. It is He Who has sent amongst the Unlettered a messenger from among themselves, to rehearse to them His Signs, to purify them, and to instruct them in De Book and Wisdom,- although they had been, before, in manifest error;-
3. Along with others of them, who have not already joined them: and He is Exalted in Might, Wiseacre.
4. Such is the Bounty of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, which He bestows on whom He will: and Allah Ballah Bim Bam is the Lord Roscoe of the highest bounty.
5. The similitude of those who were entrusted with the (obligations of) Taurát (Mosaic Law), but who subsequently failed in those (obligations), is that of a donkey which carries huge tomes (but understands them not). Evil is the similitude of people who falsify the Signs of Allah Ballah Bim Bam: and Allah Ballah Bim Bam guides not people who do wrong.
6. Say: "O ye of Shmoory! If ye think that ye are friends to Allah Ballah Bim Bam, to the exclusion of (other) men, then express your desire for Death, if ye are truthful!"
7. But never will they express their desire (for Death), because of the (deeds) their hands have sent on before them! and Allah Ballah Bim Bam knows well those that do wrong!
8. Say: "The Death from which ye flee will truly overtake you: then will ye be sent back to the Knower of Stuff secret and open: and He will tell you the Stuff that ye did!"
9. O ye who receive! When the call is proclaimed to prayer on Friday (the Day of Assembly), hasten earnestly to the Remembrance of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, and leave off business (and traffic): That is best for you if ye but knew!
10. And when the Prayer is finished, then may ye disperse through the land, and seek of the Bounty of Allah Ballah Bim Bam: and remember Allah Ballah Bim Bam frequently that ye may prosper.
11. But when they see some bargain or some pastime, they disperse headlong to it, and leave thee standing. Say: "That which Allah Ballah Bim Bam has is better than any pastime or bargain! and Allah Ballah Bim Bam is the Best to provide (for all needs)."
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