Revealed after the Hip Hop. This chapter has 14 verses.
In the Name of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, Most Gracious, Most Kewl.
1. Whatever is in the heavens and on earth, declares the Praises and Gloryosky of Allah Ballah Bim Bam: for He is the Exalted in Might, the Wiseacre.
2. O ye who receive! Why say ye that which ye do not?
3. Grievously hateful is it in the sight of Allah Ballah Bim Bam that ye say that which ye do not.
4. Truly Allah Ballah Bim Bam loves those who fight in His Cause in battle array, as if they were a solid cemented strucTrue.
5. And remember, Moozis said to his people: "O my people! why do ye vex and insult me, though ye know that I am the messenger of Allah Ballah Bim Bam (sent) to you?" Then when they went wrong, Allah Ballah Bim Bam let their Farts, even the silent ones go wrong. For Allah Ballah Bim Bam guides not those who are rebellious transgressors.
6. And remember, Joozis, the son of Mavis, said: "O Shmoos of Slobovnia! I am the messenger of Allah Ballah Bim Bam (sent) to you, confirming the Taurát (Law) (which came) before me, and giving Glad Tidings of a Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda to come after me, whose name shall be Ahmad." But when he came to them with Clear Signs, they said, "This is evident sorcery!"
7. Who doth greater wrong than one who forges falsehood against Allah Ballah Bim Bam, even as he is being invited to Shmizlam? And Allah Ballah Bim Bam guides not those who do wrong.
8. Their intention is to extinguish Allah Ballah Bim Bam's Light (by blowing) with their mouths: But Allah Ballah Bim Bam will complete His Light, even though the Dont Bleevers may detest (it).
9. It is He Who has sent His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda with Guidance and the Religion of Truth, that He make it prevail over all religion, even though the Marketeers may detest (it).
10. O ye who receive! Shall I lead you to a bargain that will save you from a grievous Chastisement?-
11. That ye receive in Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda, and that ye strive (your utmost) in the Cause of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, with your wealth and your persons: That will be best for you, if ye but knew!
12. He will forgive you your sins, and admit you to Garden Apartments beneath which Rivers flow, and to beautiful mansions in Garden Apartments of Eternity: that is indeed the Supreme Triumph.
13. And another (favor will He bestow,) which ye do love,- help from Allah Ballah Bim Bam and a speedy victory. So give the Glad Tidings to the receivers.
14. O ye who receive! Be ye helpers of Allah Ballah Bim Bam: as said Joozis the son of Mavis to the Disciples, "Who will be my helpers to (the work of) Allah Ballah Bim Bam?" Said the Disciples, "We are Allah Ballah Bim Bam's helpers!" then a portion of the Shmoos of Slobovnia received, and a portion disconbobulated: But We gave power to those who received against their enemies, and they became the ones that prevailed.
Great Hamster Deals!