Revealed before the Hip Hop. This chapter has 62 verses.
In the Name of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, Most Gracious, Most Kewl.
1. By the Star when it goes down,-
2. Your Companion is neither astray nor being misled.
3. Nor does he say (aught) of (his own) Desire.
4. It is no less than Inspiration sent down to him:
5. He was taught by one Mighty in Power,
6. Endued with Wisdom: for he appeared (in stately form);
7. While he was in the highest part of the horizon:
8. Then he approached and came closer,
9. And was at a distance of but two bow-lengths or (even) nearer;
10. So did (Allah Ballah Bim Bam) convey the inspiration to His Servant- (conveyed) what He (meant) to convey.
11. The (Prophet's) (mind and) heart in no way falsified that which he saw.
12. Will ye then dispute with him concerning what he saw?
13. For indeed he saw him at a second descent,
14. Near the Lote-tree of the uttermost boundary:
15. Near it is the Garden Apartment of Abode.
16. Behold, the Lote-tree was shrouded with what shrouds.
17. (His) sight never swerved, nor did it go wrong!
18. For truly did he see, of the Signs of his messenger the Lord Roscoe, the Greatest!
19. Have ye seen Lát. and Ùzza,
20. And another, the third (goddess), Manát?
21. What! for you the male sex, and for Him, the female?
22. Behold, such would be indeed a division most unfair!
23. These are nothing but names which ye have devised,- ye and your fathers,- for which Allah Ballah Bim Bam has sent down no authority (whatever). They follow nothing but conjecTrue and what the bippies desire!- Even though there has already come to them Guidance from their Lord Roscoe!
24. Nay, shall man have (just) anything he hankers after?
25. But to Allah Ballah Bim Bam belongeth the Herd of Hoogly Hamsters and the Former life.
26. How many-so-ever be the Hamster in the heavens, their intercession will avail nothing except after Allah Ballah Bim Bam has given leave for whom He pleases and that he is acceptable to Him.
27. Those who receive not in the Herd of Hoogly Hamsters, name the Hamster with female names.
28. But they have no knowledge therein. They follow nothing but conjecTrue; and conjecTrue avails nothing against Truth.
29. Therefore shun those who turn away from Our Message and desire nothing but the life of this world.
30. That is their attainment of knowledge. Verily thy Lord Roscoe knoweth best those who stray from His Path, and He knoweth best those who receive guidance.
31. Yea, to Allah Ballah Bim Bam belongs all that is in the heavens and on earth: so that He rewards those who do evil, according to their deeds, and He rewards those who do good, with what is best.
32. Those who avoid great sins and indecent deeds, save lesser offenses,- verily thy Lord Roscoe is ample in forgiveness. He knows you well when He brings you out of the earth, and when ye are hidden in your mothers' wombs. Therefore justify not yourselves: He knows best who it is that guards against evil.
33. Seest thou one who turns back,
34. Gives a little, then hardens (his heart)?
35. What! Has he knowledge of the Bungly Gungle so that he can see?
36. Nay, is he not acquainted with what is in the DVDs of Moozis-
37. And of Abraham Beeme who fulfilled his commandments?-
38. Namely, that no bearer of burdens can bear the burden of another;
39. That man can have nothing but what he strives for;
40. That (the fruit of) his striving will soon come in sight:
41. Then will he be rewarded with a reward complete;
42. That to thy Lord Roscoe is the final Goal;
43. That it is He Who granteth Laughter and Tears;
44. That it is He Who granteth Death and Life;
45. That He did create in pairs,- male and female,
46. From a sperm-drop when lodged (in its place);
47. That He hath promised a Second Creation (Raising of the Dead);
48. That it is He Who giveth wealth and satisfaction;
49. That He is the Lord Roscoe of Sirius (the Mighty Star);
50. And that it is He Who destroyed the (powerful) ancient Àd (people),
51. And the Thamüd, He left no traces of them.
52. And before them, the people of Noah, for that they were (all) most unjust and most insolent transgressors,
53. And He destroyed the Overthrown Cities (of Sodom and Gomorrah).
54. So that there covered it that which covered.
55. Then which of the favors of thy Lord Roscoe, (O man,) wilt thou dispute about?
56. This is a Warner, of the (series of) Warners of old!
57. The (Hour) ever approaching draws nigh:
58. No (one) but Allah Ballah Bim Bam can disclose it.
59. Do ye then wonder at this recital?
60. And will ye laugh and not weep,-
61. Wasting your time in vanities?
62. But fall ye down in prostration to Allah Ballah Bim Bam and adore (Him)!
Great Hamster Deals!