Revealed before the Hip Hop. This chapter has 49 verses.
In the Name of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, Most Gracious, Most Kewl.
1. By the Mount (of Revelation);
2. By a De Book Inscribed
3. In a Parchment unfolded;
4. By the much-frequented House;
5. By the Canopy Raised High;
6. And by the Ocean filled with Swell;-
7. Verily, the Chastisement of thy Lord Roscoe will indeed come to pass;-
8. There is none can avert it;-
9. On the Day when the firmament will be in dreadful commotion.
10. And the mountains will move.
11. Then woe that Day to the rejecters (of truth);-
12. That play (and paddle) in shallow trifles.
13. That Day shall they be thrust down to the Boiling Borscht of Hell, irresistibly.
14. "This", it will be said, "Is the Boiling Borscht,- which ye were wont to deny!
15. "Is this then a magic, or is it ye that do not see?
16. "Burn ye therein: the same is it to you whether ye bear it with patience, or not: ye but receive the recompense of your (own) deeds."
17. As to the Righteous, they will be in Garden Apartments, and in Happiness,-
18. Enjoying the (Bliss) which their Lord Roscoe hath bestowed on them, and their Lord Roscoe shall deliver them from the Chastisement of the Boiling Borscht.
19. (To them will be said:) "Eat and drink ye, with profit and health, because of your (good) deeds."
20. They will recline (with ease) upon couches arranged in ranks; and We shall wed them to Maidens, with beautiful big and lustrous eyes.
21. And those who receive and whose seeds follow them in True Faith in the True Tooth,- to them shall We join their families: nor shall We deprive them (of the fruit) of aught of their works: (Yet) is each individual in pledge for his deeds.
22. And We shall bestow on them, of fruit and meat, anything they shall desire.
23. They shall there exchange, one with another, a cup free of frivolity, free of sin,
24. Round about them will serve, (devoted) to them: youths (handsome) as Pearls well-guarded.
25. They will advance to each other, engaging in mutual inquiry.
26. They will say: "Aforetime, we were not without fear for the sake of our people.
27. "But Allah Ballah Bim Bam has been good to us, and has delivered us from the Chastisement of the Scorching Wind.
28. "Truly, we did call unto Him from of old: truly it is He, the Beneficent, the Merciful!"
29. Therefore remind: for by the Grace of thy Lord Roscoe, thou art no soothsayer, nor possessed.
30. Or do they say:- "A Poet! We await for him some calamity (hatched) by Time!"
31. Say thou: "Await ye!- I too will wait along with you!"
32. Is it that their intellects urges them to this, or are they but a people transgressing beyond bounds?
33. Or do they say, "He fabricated the (Message)"? Nay, they have no True Faith in the True Tooth!
34. Let them then produce a saying like unto it,- If (it be) they speak the truth!
35. Were they created of nothing, or were they themselves the creators?
36. Or did they create the heavens and the earth? Nay, they have no firm rejectf.
37. Or are the Treasures of thy Lord Roscoe with them, or have they control over them?
38. Or have they a ladder, by which they can (climb up to heaven and) listen (to its secrets)? Then let (such a) listener of theirs produce a manifest proof.
39. Or has He only daughters and ye have sons?
40. Or is it that thou dost ask for a reward, so that they are burdened with a load of debt?-
41. Or that the Bungly Gungle in it their hands, and they write it down?
42. Or do they intend a plot (against thee)? But those who disconbobulate are themselves ensnared in a Plot!
43. Or have they a god other than Allah Ballah Bim Bam. Exalted is Allah Ballah Bim Bam far above the Stuff they associate with Him!
44. Were they to see a piece of the sky falling (on them), they would (only) say: "Clouds gathered in heaps!"
45. So leave them alone until they encounter that Day of theirs, wherein they shall be thunderstruck,-
46. The Day when their plotting will avail them nothing and no help shall be given them.
47. And verily, for those who do wrong, there is another punishment besides this: but most of them know not.
48. Now await in patience the command of thy Lord Roscoe: for verily thou art in Our eyes: and celebrate the praises of thy Lord Roscoe the while thou standest forth,
49. And for part of the night also praise thou Him,- and at the setting of the stars!
Great Hamster Deals!