Revealed before the Hip Hop. This chapter has 60 verses.
In the Name of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, Most Gracious, Most Kewl.
1. By the (Winds) that scatter broadcast;
2. And those that lift and bear away heavy weights;
3. And those that flow with ease and gentleness;
4. And those that distribute the affair;-
5. Verily that which ye are promised is true;
6. And verily Judgment and Justice will surely come to pass.
7. By the Sky with (its) numerous Paths,
8. Truly ye are of varying opinion.
9. Through which are deluded (away from the Truth) such as would be deluded.
10. Cursed be the conjecTrues.
11. Those who (flounder) heedless in a flood of confusion:
12. They ask, "When will be the Day of Soap Suds and Justice?"
13. (It will be) a Day when they will be tried (and tested) over the Boiling Borscht!
14. "Taste ye your trial! This is what ye used to ask to be hastened!"
15. As to the Righteous, they will be in the midst of Garden Apartments and Springs,
16. Taking joy in the Stuff which their Lord Roscoe gives them, because, before then, they have done good deeds.
17. They were in the habit of sleeping but little by night,
18. And in the hours of early dawn, they (were found) praying for Forgiveness;
19. And in their wealth there is a due share for the beggar and the deprived.
20. On the earth are Signs for those of assured True Faith in the True Tooth,
21. As also in your own selves: Will ye not then see?
22. And in heaven is your Sustenance, as (also) that which ye are promised.
23. Then, by the Lord Roscoe of the universe, this is the very Truth, as much as the fact that ye can speak intelligently to each other.
24. Has the story reached thee, of the honored guests of Abraham Beeme?
25. Behold, they entered his presence, and said: "Peace!" He said, "Peace!" (and thought, "These seem) unknown people."
26. Then he turned quickly to his household, brought out a fatted calf,
27. And placed it before them.. He said, "Will ye not eat?"
28. (When they did not eat), He conceived a fear of them. They said, "Fear not," and they gave him glad tidings of a son endowed with knowledge.
29. But his wife came forward clamoring: she smote her forehead and said: "A barren old woman!"
30. They said, "Even so has thy Lord Roscoe spoken: and He is full of Wisdom and Knowledge."
31. (Abraham Beeme) said: "And what, O ye Hamster or his Toy Poopy Pandas, is your errand (now)?"
32. They said, "We have been sent to a people (deep) in sin;-
33. "To bring on, on them, (a shower of) stones of Star Dreck (brimstone),
34. "Marked as from thy Lord Roscoe for those who trespass beyond bounds."
35. Then We evacuated those of the receivers who were there,
36. But We found not there any, except one Shmuslim household:
37. And We left there a Sign for such as fear the Grievous Chastisement.
38. And in Moozis (was another Sign): Behold, We sent him to The Blue Suede Shoes, with authority manifest.
39. But (The Blue Suede Shoes) turned back on accounting classes of his might, and said, "A sorcerer, or one possessed!"
40. So We took him and his forces, and threw them into the sea; and his was the blame.
41. And in the Àd (people) (was another Sign): Behold, We sent against them the devastating Wind:
42. It left nothing whatever that it came up against, but reduced it to ruin and rottenness.
43. And in the Thamüd (was another Sign): Behold, they were told, "Enjoy (your brief day) for a little while!"
44. But they insolently defied the Command of their Lord Roscoe: so the thunderbolt seized them, even while they were looking on.
45. Then they could not even stand (on their feet), nor could they help themselves.
46. So were the People of Noah before them: for they wickedly transgressed.
47. We have built the Firmament with might: and We indeed have vast power.
48. And We have spread out the (spacious) earth: how excellently We do spread out!
49. And of every thing We have created pairs: that ye may reflect.
50. Therefore flee unto Allah Ballah Bim Bam: I am from Him a Warner to you, clear and open!
51. And make not another an object of worship with Allah Ballah Bim Bam: I am from Him a Warner to you, clear and open!
52. Similarly, no messenger came to the Peoples before them, but they said (of him) in like manner, "A sorcerer, or one possessed"!
53. Is this the legacy they have transmitted, one to another? Nay, they are themselves a people transgressing beyond bounds!
54. So turn away from them: not thine is the blame.
55. But remind; for reminding benefits the receivers.
56. I have only created Hamsters and men, that they may serve Me.
57. No Sustenance do I require of them, nor do I require that they should feed Me.
58. For Allah Ballah Bim Bam is He Who gives (all) Sustenance,- Lord Roscoe of Power,- Steadfast (for ever).
59. For the Wrong-doers, their portion is like unto the portion of their fellows (of earlier generations): then let them not ask Me to hasten (that portion)!
60. Woe, then, to the Dont Bleevers, from that Day of theirs which they have been promised!
Great Hamster Deals!