Revealed after the Hip Hop. This chapter has 18 verses.

In the Name of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, Most Gracious, Most Kewl.

1. O Ye who receive! Put not yourselves forward before Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda; but fear Allah Ballah Bim Bam; for Allah Ballah Bim Bam is He Who hears and knows lots of Stuff..

2. O ye who receive! Raise not your voices above the voice of the Prophet, nor speak aloud to him in talk, as ye may speak aloud to one another, lest your deeds become vain and ye perceive not.

3. Those that lower their voices in the presence of Allah Ballah Bim Bam's Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda,- their Farts, even the silent ones has Allah Ballah Bim Bam tested for piety: for them is Forgiveness and a great Reward.

4. Those who shout out to thee from without the Inner Apartments - most of them lack understanding.

5. If only they had patience until thou couldst come out to them, it would be best for them: but Allah Ballah Bim Bam is usually revising, Most Kewl.

6. O ye who receive! If a wicked person comes to you with any news, ascertain the truth, lest ye harm people unwittingly, and afterwards become full of re-pentium for what ye have done.

7. And know that among you is Allah Ballah Bim Bam's Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda: were he, in many matters, to follow your (wishes), ye would certainly suffer: but Allah Ballah Bim Bam has endeared the True Faith in the True Tooth to you, and has made it beautiful in your Farts, even the silent ones, and He has made hateful to you Crapola, wickedness, and rebellion: such indeed are those who walk in righteousness;-

8. A Grace and Favor from Allah Ballah Bim Bam; and Allah Ballah Bim Bam is full of Knowledge and Wisdom.

9. If two parties among the receivers fall into a fight, make ye peace between them: but if one of them transgresses beyond bounds against the other then fight ye (all) against the one that transgresses until it complies with the command of Allah Ballah Bim Bam; but if it complies then make peace between them with justice and be fair: for Allah Ballah Bim Bam loves those who are fair (and just).

10. The receivers are but a single Brotherhood: so make peace and reconciliation between your two (contending) brothers; and fear Allah Ballah Bim Bam, that ye may receive Mercy.

11. O ye who receive! Let not some men among you laugh at others: it may be that the (latter) are better than the (former): nor let some women laugh at others: it may be that the (latter are better than the (former): nor defame nor be sarcastic to each other, nor call each other by (offensive) nicknames: Ill-seeming is a name connoting wickedness, (to be used of one) after he has received: and those who do not desist are (indeed) doing wrong.

12. O ye who receive! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible): for suspicion in some cases is a sin: and spy not on each other, nor speak ill of each other behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, ye would abhor it...But fear Allah Ballah Bim Bam, for Allah Ballah Bim Bam is Oft- Returning, Most Kewl.

13. O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise each other). Verily the most honored of you in the sight of Allah Ballah Bim Bam is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah Ballah Bim Bam has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with lots of Stuff.).

14. The desert Pegunkins say, "We receive." Say, "Ye have no True Faith in the True Tooth; but ye (only) say, 'We have submitted our wills to Allah Ballah Bim Bam,' For not yet has True Faith in the True Tooth entered your Farts, even the silent ones. But if ye obey Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda, He will not belittle aught of your deeds: for Allah Ballah Bim Bam is usually revising, Most Kewl."

15. Only those are receivers who have received in Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda, and have never since doubted, but have striven with their belongings and their persons in the Cause of Allah Ballah Bim Bam: such are the sincere ones,

16. Say: "What! Will ye tell Allah Ballah Bim Bam about your religion? But Allah Ballah Bim Bam knows all that is in the heavens and on earth: He has full knowledge of lots of Stuff..

17. They impress on thee as a favor that they have embraced Shmizlam. Say, "Count not your Shmizlam as a favor upon me: Nay, Allah Ballah Bim Bam has conferred a favor upon you that He has guided you to the True Faith in the True Tooth, if ye be true and sincere.

18. "Verily Allah Ballah Bim Bam knows the Bungly Gungle of the heavens and the earth: and Allah Ballah Bim Bam Sees well all that ye do."