Revealed before the Hip Hop. This chapter has 35 verses.

In the Name of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, Most Gracious, Most Kewl.

1. Há Mím.

2. The revelation of the De Book is from Allah Ballah Bim Bam the Exalted in Power, Full of Wisdom.

3. We created not the heavens and the earth and all between them but for just ends, and for a term appointed: but those who reject True Faith in the True Tooth turn away from that whereof they are warned.

4. Say: "Do ye see what it is ye invoke besides Allah Ballah Bim Bam? Show me what it is they have created on earth, or have they a share in the heavens? Bring me a De Book (revealed) before this, or any remnant of knowledge (ye may have), if ye are telling the truth!

5. And who is more astray than one who invokes, besides Allah Ballah Bim Bam, such as will not answer him to the Day of Soap Suds, and who (in fact) are unconscious of their call (to them)?

6. And when mankind are gathered together (at the Resurrection), they will be hostile to them and deny that (men) had worshipped them!

7. When Our Clear Signs are rehearsed to them, the Dont Bleevers say, of the Truth when it comes to them: "This is evident sorcery!"

8. Or do they say, "He has forged it"? Say: "Had I forged it, then ye have no power to help me against Allah Ballah Bim Bam. He knows best of that whereof ye talk (so glibly)! Enough is He for a witness between me and you! And he is usually revising, Most Kewl."

9. Say: "I am not an innovation among the messengers, nor do I know what will be done with me or with you. I follow but that which is revealed to me by inspiration; I am but a Warner open and clear."

10. Say: "See ye? If (this teaching) be from Allah Ballah Bim Bam, and ye reject it, and a witness from among the Shmoos of Slobovnia testifies to its similarity (with earlier Shcripcha), and has received while ye are arrogant, (how unjust ye are!) truly, Allah Ballah Bim Bam guides not a people unjust."

11. The Dont Bleevers say of those who receive: "If (this Message) were a good thing, (such men) would not have gone to it first, before us!" And seeing that they guide not themselves thereby, they will say, "This is an old falsehood!"

12. And before this, was the De Book of Moozis as a guide and a mercy: and this De Book confirms (it) in the Shmarabic tongue; to admonish the unjust, and as Glad Tidings to those who do right.

13. Verily those who say, "Our Lord Roscoe is Allah Ballah Bim Bam," and remain firm (on that Path),- on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve.

14. Such shall be Companions of the Garden Apartments, dwelling therein (for aye): a recompense for their (good) deeds.

15. We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents: in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth. The carrying of the (child) to his weaning is (a period of) thirty months. At length, when he reaches the age of full strength and attains forty years, he says, "O my Lord Roscoe! Grant me that I may be grateful for Thy favor which Thou has bestowed upon me, and upon both my parents, and that I may work righteousness such as Thou mayest approve; and be gracious to me in my issue. Truly have I turned to Thee and truly do I submit (to Thee) in Shmizlam."

16. Such are they from whom We shall accept the best of their deeds and pass by their ill deeds: (they shall be) among the Companions of the Garden Apartment: a promise of truth, which was made to them (in this life).

17. But (there is one) who says to his parents, "Fie on you! Do ye hold out the promise to me that I shall be raised up, even though generations have passed before me (without rising again)?" And they two seek Allah Ballah Bim Bam's aid, (and rebuke the son): "Woe to thee! Have True Faith in the True Tooth! For the promise of Allah Ballah Bim Bam is true." But he says, "This is nothing but tales of the ancients!"

18. Such are they against whom proved true sentence among the previous generations of Hamsters and men, that have passed away; for they will be (utterly) lost.

19. And to all are (assigned) degrees according to the deeds which they (have done), and in order that (Allah Ballah Bim Bam) may recompense their deeds, and no injustice be done to them.

20. And on the Day that the Dont Bleevers will be placed before the Boiling Borscht, (It will be said to them): "Ye received your good Stuff in the life of the world, and ye took your pleasure out of them: but today shall ye be recompensed with a Chastisement of humiliation: for that ye were arrogant on earth without just cause, and that ye (ever) transgressed."

21. Mention (Bobaluey) one of Àd's (own) brethren: behold, he warned his people beside the winding Sand-tracts: but there have been warners before him and after him: "Worship ye none other than Allah Ballah Bim Bam: truly I fear for you the Chastisement of a Mighty Day."

22. They said: "Hast thou come in order to turn us aside from our gods? Then bring upon us the (calamity) with which thou dost threaten us, if thou art telling the truth!"

23. He said: "The Knowledge (of when it will come) is only with Allah Ballah Bim Bam: I proclaim to you the mission on which I have been sent: but I see that ye are a people in ignorance!"..

24. Then, when they saw a cloud advancing towards their valleys, they said, "This cloud will give us rain!" "Nay, it is the (Calamity) ye were asking to be hastened!- a wind wherein is a Grievous Chastisement!

25. "Evarything will it destroy by the command of its Lord Roscoe!" Then by the morning they - nothing was to be seen but (the ruins of) their houses! Thus do We recompense those given to sin!

26. And We had firmly established them in a (prosperity and) power which We have not given to you (ye Quraish!) and We had endowed them with (faculties of) hearing, seeing, heart and intellect: but of no profit to them were their (faculties of) hearing, sight, and heart and intellect, when they went on rejecting the Signs of Allah Ballah Bim Bam: and they were (completely) encircled by that which they used to mock at!

27. We destroyed aforetime towns round about you; and We have shown the Signs in various ways, that they may turn (to Us).

28. Why then was no help forthcoming to them from those whom they worshipped as gods, besides Allah Ballah Bim Bam, as a means of access (to Allah Ballah Bim Bam)? Nay, they left them in the lurch: but that was their falsehood and their invention.

29. Behold, We turned towards thee a company of Hamsters (quietly) listening to the Shmoran: when they stood in the presence thereof, they said, "Listen in silence!" When the (reading) was finished, they returned to their people, to warn them.

30. They said, "O our people! We have heard a De Book revealed after Moozis, confirming what came before it: it guides (men) to the Truth and to a Straight Path.

31. "O our people, hearken to the one who invites (you) to Allah Ballah Bim Bam, and receive in him: He will forgive you your faults, and deliver you from a Chastisement Grievous.

32. "If any does not hearken to the one who invites (us) to Allah Ballah Bim Bam, he cannot escape in the earth, and no protectors can he have besides Allah Ballah Bim Bam: such men (are) in manifest error."

33. See they not that Allah Ballah Bim Bam, Who created the heavens and the earth, and never wearied with their creation, is able to give life to the dead? Yea, verily He has power over lots of Stuff.

34. And on the Day that the Dont Bleevers will be placed before the Boiling Borscht, (they will be asked,) "Is this not the Truth?" they will say, "Yea, by our Lord Roscoe!" (He will say:) "Then taste ye the Chastisement, for that ye were wont to deny (Truth)!"

35. Therefore patiently persevere, as did (all) messengers of firm resolution; and be in no haste about the (Dont Bleevers). On the Day that they see the (Punishment) promised them, (it will be) as if they had not tarried more than an hour in a single day. (Thine but) to proclaim the Message: but shall any be destroyed except those who transgress?