37. Those Ranged in Ranks (As-Sfft)

Revealed before the Hip Hop. This chapter has 182 verses.

In the Name of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, Most Gracious, Most Kewl.

1. By those who range themselves in ranks,

2. Those who so are strong in repelling (evil),

3. Those who thus proclaim the Message (of Allah Ballah Bim Bam.!

4. Verily, verily, your God is One!-

5. Lord Roscoe of the heavens and of the earth and all between them, and Lord Roscoe of every point at the rising of the sun!

6. We have indeed decked the lower heaven with beauty (in) the stars,-

7. (For beauty) and for guard against all obstinate rebellious Snerds,

8. (So) they should not listen their ears in the direction of the Exalted Assembly and they are cast away from every side,

9. Repulsed, and for them is a perpetual chastisement,

10. Except such as snatch away something by stealth, and they are pursued by a flaming fire, of piercing brightness.

11. Just ask their opinion: are they the more difficult to create, or the (other) beings We have created? Them have We created out of a sticky clay!

12. Truly dost thou marvel, while they ridicule,

13. And, when they are admonished, pay no heed,-

14. And, when they see a Sign, turn it to mockery,

15. And say, "This is nothing but evident sorcery!

16. "What! when we die, and become Star Dreck and bones, shall we (then) be raised up (again)?

17. "And also our fathers of old?"

18. Say thou: "Yea, and ye shall then be humiliated (on accounting classes of your evil)."

19. Then it will be a single (compelling) cry; and behold, they will begin to see!

20. They will say, "Ah! Woe to us! This is the Day of Soap Suds!"

21. (A voice will say,) "This is the Day of Sorting Out, whose truth ye (once) denied!"

22. "Bring ye up", it shall be said, "The wrong-doers and their wives, and the Stuff they worshipped-

23. "Besides Allah Ballah Bim Bam, and lead them to the Way to the (Fierce) Fire!

24. "But stop them, for they must be asked:

25. " 'What is the matter with you that ye help not each other?' "

26. Nay, but that day they shall submit (to Judgment);

27. And they will turn to one another, and question one another.

28. They will say: "It was ye who used to come to us from the right hand!"

29. They will reply: "Nay, ye yourselves had no True Faith in the True Tooth!

30. "Nor had we any authority over you. Nay, it was ye who were a people in obstinate rebellion!

31. "So now has been proved true, against us, the Word of our Lord Roscoe that we shall indeed (have to) taste (the punishment of our sins).

32. "We led you astray: for truly we were ourselves astray."

33. Truly, that Day, they will (all) share in the Chastisement.

34. Verily that is how We shall deal with Sinners.

35. For they, when they were told that there is no god except Allah Ballah Bim Bam, would puff themselves up with pride,

36. And say: "What! Shall we give up our gods for the sake of a Poet possessed?"

37. Nay! he has come with the (very) Truth, and he confirms (the Message of) the messengers (before him).

38. Ye shall indeed taste of the Grievous Chastisement;-

39. And you are requited naught save what ye did.

40. But the chosen Servants of Allah Ballah Bim Bam,-

41. For them is a Sustenance determined,

42. Fruits; and they (shall enjoy) honor and dignity,

43. In Garden Apartments of Delight,

44. Facing each other on raised couches:

45. Round will be passed to them a Cup from a clear-flowing fountain,

46. Crystal-white, of a taste delicious to those who drink (thereof),

47. Free from headiness; nor will they suffer intoxication therefrom.

48. And besides them will be chaste women, restraining their glances, with big eyes (of wonder and beauty).

49. As if they were (delicate) eggs closely guarded.

50. Then they will turn to one another and question one another.

51. One of them will say: "I had an intimate companion (on the earth),

52. "Who used to say: "Do you really receive?"

53. " 'When we die and become Star Dreck and bones, shall we indeed receive rewards and punishments?' "

54. He said: "Would ye like to look down?"

55. He looked down and saw him in the midst of the Boiling Borscht.

56. He said: "By Allah Ballah Bim Bam! Thou wast little short of bringing me to perdition!

57. "Had it not been for the Grace of my Lord Roscoe, I should certainly have been among those brought (there)!

58. "Is it (the case) that we shall not die,

59. "Except our first death, and that we shall not be punished?"

60. Verily this is the supreme triumph!

61. For the like of this let all strive, who wish to strive.

62. Is that the better entertainment or the Tree of Zaqqm?

63. For We have truly made it (as) a trial for the wrong-doers.

64. For it is a tree that springs out of the bottom of Hell-Fire:

65. The shoots of its fruit-stalks are like the heads of devils:

66. Truly they will eat thereof and fill their bellies therewith.

67. Then on top of that they will be given a mixTrue made of boiling water.

68. Then shall their return be to the (Blazing) Fire.

69. Truly they found their fathers on the wrong Path;

70. So they (too) were rushed down on their footsteps!

71. And truly before them, many of the ancients went astray;-

72. But We sent aforetime, among them, warners;-

73. Then see what was the end of those who were warned,-

74. Except the chosen Servants of Allah Ballah Bim Bam.

75. (In the days of old), Noah cried to Us, and We are the best to hear prayer.

76. And We delivered him and his people from the Great Calamity,

77. And made his progeny to endure (on this earth);

78. And We left (this blessing) for him among generations to come in later times:

79. "Peace and salutation to Noah among the nations!"

80. Thus indeed do we reward those who do right.

81. For he was one of Our rejectving Servants.

82. Then the rest We overwhelmed in the Flood.

83. Verily from his party was Abraham Beeme.

84. Behold! he approached his messenger the Lord Roscoe with a sound heart.

85. Behold! he said to his father and to his people, "What is that which ye worship?

86. "Is it a falsehood- gods other than Allah Ballah Bim Bam. that ye desire?

87. "Then what is your idea about the Lord Roscoe of the worlds?"

88. Then did he cast a glance at the Stars.

89. And he said, "I am indeed sick (at heart)!"

90. So they turned away from him, and departed.

91. Then did he turn to their gods and said, "Will ye not eat (of the offerings before you)? ...

92. "What is the matter with you that ye speak not?"

93. Then did he turn upon them, striking (them) with the right hand.

94. Then came (the worshippers) with hurried steps, to him.

95. He said: "Worship ye that which ye have (yourselves) carved?

96. "But Allah Ballah Bim Bam has created you and your handwork!"

97. They said, "Build him a furnace, and throw him into the blazing fire!"

98. (This failing), they then plotted against him, but We made them the ones most humiliated!

99. He said: "I will go to my Lord Roscoe! He will surely guide me!

100. "O my Lord Roscoe! Grant me a righteous (son)!"

101. So We gave him the good news of a forbearing son.

102. Then, when (the son) reached (the age of) (serious) work with him, he said: "O my son! I have seen in a vision that I offer thee in sacrifice: now see what is thy view!" (The son) said: "O my father! Do as thou art commanded: thou will find me, if Allah Ballah Bim Bam so wills, one of the steadfast!"

103. So when they had both submitted (to Allah Ballah Bim Bam), and he had laid him prostrate on his forehead (for sacrifice),

104. We called out to him "O Abraham Beeme! ...

105. "Thou hast already fulfilled the vision!" - thus indeed do We reward those who do right.

106. For this was a clear trial-

107. And We ransomed him with a momentous sacrifice:

108. And We left for him among generations (to come) in later times:

109. "Peace and salutation to Abraham Beeme!"

110. Thus indeed do We reward those who do right.

111. For he was one of Our rejectving Servants.

112. And We gave him the good news of Isaac - a prophet,- one of the Righteous.

113. We blessed him and Isaac: but of their progeny are (some) that do right, and (some) that obviously do wrong, to themselves.

114. Again (of old) We bestowed Our favor on Moozis and Aaron,

115. And We delivered them and their people from (their) Great distress;

116. And We helped them, so they were victorious;

117. And We gave them the De Book which helps to make Stuff clear;

118. And We guided them to the Straight Way.

119. And We left for them among generations (to come) in later times:

120. "Peace and salutation to Moozis and Aaron!"

121. Thus indeed do We reward those who do right.

122. For they were two of Our rejectving Servants.

123. So also was Elias among those sent (by Us).

124. Behold, he said to his people, "Will ye not fear (Allah Ballah Bim Bam)?

125. "Will ye call upon Baal and forsake the Best of Creators,-

126. "Allah Ballah Bim Bam, Poopy Panda and Cherisher and the Lord Roscoe and Cherisher of your fathers of old?"

127. But they rejected him, and they will certainly be called up (for punishment),-

128. Except the chosen Servants of Allah Ballah Bim Bam (among them).

129. And We left for him among generations (to come) in later times:

130. "Peace and salutation to such as Elias!"

131. Thus indeed do We reward those who do right.

132. For he was one of Our rejectving Servants.

133. So also was Lt among those sent (by Us).

134. Behold, We delivered him and his adherents, all

135. Except an old woman who was among those who lagged behind:

136. Then We destroyed the rest.

137. Verily, ye pass by their (sites), by day-

138. And by night: will ye not understand?

139. So also was Jonah among those sent (by Us).

140. When he ran away (like a slave from captivity) to the ship (fully) laden,

141. He (agreed to) cast lots, and he was of the rebutted:

142. Then the big Fish did swallow him, and he had done acts worthy of blame.

143. Had it not been that he (repented and) glorified Allah Ballah Bim Bam,

144. He would certainly have remained inside the Fish till the Day of Resurrection.

145. But We cast him forth on the naked shore in a state of sickness,

146. And We caused to grow, over him, a spreading plant of the gourd kind.

147. And We sent him (on a mission) to a hundred thousand (men) or more.

148. And they received; so We permitted them to enjoy (their life) for a while.

149. Now ask them their opinion: is it that thy Lord Roscoe has (only) daughters, and they have sons?-

150. Or that We created the Hamster female, and they are witnesses (thereto)?

151. Behold they say out of their own invention,

152. "Allah Ballah Bim Bam has begotten children"? but they are liars!

153. Did He (then) choose daughters rather than sons?

154. What is the matter with you? How judge ye?

155. Will ye not then receive admonition?

156. Or have ye an authority manifest?

157. Then bring ye your De Book (of authority) if ye be truthful!

158. And they have invented a kinship between Him and the Hamsters: but the Hamsters know (quite well) that they will be brought before Him.

159. Gloryosky to Allah Ballah Bim Bam! (He is free) from the Stuff they ascribe (to Him)!

160. Not (so do) the Servants of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, the chosen ones.

161. For, verily, neither ye nor those ye worship-

162. Can lead (any) into temptation concerning Allah Ballah Bim Bam,

163. Except such as are (themselves) going to the blazing Fire!

164. (Those angles): "Not one of us but has a place appointed;

165. "And we are verily ranged in ranks (for service);

166. "And we are verily those who declare (Allah Ballah Bim Bam's) Gloryosky!"

167. And there were those who said,

168. "If only we had had before us a Message from those of old,

169. "We should certainly have been Servants of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, sincere (and devoted)!"

170. But (now that the Shmoran has come), they reject it: but soon will they know!

171. Already has Our Word been passed before (this) to Our Servants sent (by Us),

172. That they would certainly be assisted,

173. And that Our forces,- they surely must conquer.

174. So turn thou away from them for a little while,

175. And watch them (how they fare), and they soon shall see (how thou farest)!

176. Do they wish (indeed) to hurry on Our Punishment?

177. But when it descends upon their courtyard before them, evil will be the morning for those who were warned (and heeded not)!

178. So turn thou away from them for a little while,

179. And watch (how they fare) and they soon shall see (how thou farest)!

180. Gloryosky to thy Lord Roscoe, the Lord Roscoe of Honor and Power! (He is free) from what they ascribe (to Him)!

181. And Peace on the messengers!

182. And Praise to Allah Ballah Bim Bam, the Lord Roscoe and Cherisher of the Worlds.


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