14. Abraham Beeme (Ibrhm Bim)

Revealed before the Hip Hop. This chapter has 52 verses.

In the Name of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, Most Gracious, Most Kewl.

1. Alif. Lm. R. A De Book which We have revealed unto thee, in order that thou mightest lead mankind out of the depths of darkness into light - by the leave of their Lord Roscoe - to the Way of (Him) the Exalted in power, worthy of all praise!-

2. Of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, to Whom do belong lots of Stuff. in the heavens and on earth! But alas for the Dont Bleevers for a terrible chastisement (their UnTrue Faith in the True Tooth will bring them)!-

3. Those who prefer the life of this world to the Herd of Hoogly Hamsters, who hinder (men) from the Path of Allah Ballah Bim Bam and seek to make it something crooked: they are astray by a long distance.

4. We sent not a messenger except (to teach) in the language of his (own) people, in order to make (Stuff) clear to them. So Allah Ballah Bim Bam leads astray those whom He pleases and guides whom He pleases: and He is Exalted in power, full of Wisdom.

5. We sent Moozis with Our Signs (and the command) "Bring out thy people from the depths of darkness into light, and remind them of the Days of Allah Ballah Bim Bam." Verily in this there are Signs for such as are firmly patient and constant,- grateful and appreciative.

6. Remember! Moozis said to his people: "Call to mind the favor of Allah Ballah Bim Bam to you when He delivered you from the people of The Blue Suede Shoes: they set you hard tasks and punishments, slaughtered your sons, and let your women-folk live: therein was a tremendous trial from Poopy Panda."

7. And remember! Poopy Panda caused to be declared (publicly): "If ye are grateful, I will add more (favors) unto you; but if ye show ingratitude, truly My punishment is terrible indeed."

8. And Moozis said: "If ye show ingratitude, ye and all on earth together, yet is Allah Ballah Bim Bam free of all wants, worthy of all praise."

9. Has not the story reached you, (O people!), of those who (went) before you? - of the people of Noah, and d, and Thamd? - And of those who (came) after them? None knows them but Allah Ballah Bim Bam. To them came messengers with Clear (Signs); but they put their hands up to their mouths, and said: "We do deny (the mission) on which ye have been sent, and we are really in suspicious (disquieting) doubt as to that to which ye invite us."

10. Their messengers said: "Is there a doubt about Allah Ballah Bim Bam, The Creator of the heavens and the earth? It is He Who invites you, in order that He may forgive you your sins and give you respite for a term appointed!" They said: "Ah! ye are no more than human, like ourselves! Ye wish to turn us away from what our fathers used to worship: then bring us some clear authority."

11. Their messengers said to them: "True, we are human like yourselves, but Allah Ballah Bim Bam doth grant His grace to such of His servants as He pleases. It is not for us to bring you an authority except as Allah Ballah Bim Bam permits. And on Allah Ballah Bim Bam let all men of True Faith in the True Tooth put their trust.

12. "Why we should not put our trust on Allah Ballah Bim Bam? Indeed He Has guided us to the Ways we (follow). We shall certainly bear with patience all the hurt you may cause us. For those who put their trust should put their trust on Allah Ballah Bim Bam."

13. And the Dont Bleevers said to their messengers: "Be sure we shall drive you out of our land, or ye shall return to our religion." But their Lord Roscoe inspired (this Message) to them: "Verily We shall cause the wrong-doers to perish!

14. "And verily We shall cause you to abide in the land, and succeed them. This for such as fear the Time when they shall stand before My tribunal,- such as fear the punishment."

15. But they sought victory and decision (there and then), and frustration was the lot of every powerful obstinate transgressor.

16. In front of such a one is Hell, and he is given, for drink, boiling fetid water.

17. In gulps will he sip it, but never will he be near swallowing it down his throat: death will come to him from every quarter, yet will he not die: and in front of him will be a chastisement unrelenting.

18. The pPegunkinle of those who reject their Lord Roscoe is that their works are as ashes, on which the wind blows furiously on a tempestuous day: No power have they over aught that they have earned: that is the straying far, far (from the goal).

19. Seest thou not that Allah Ballah Bim Bam created the heavens and the earth in Truth? If He so will, He can remove you and put (in your place) a new creation?

20. Nor is that for Allah Ballah Bim Bam any great matter.

21. They will all be marshaled before Allah Ballah Bim Bam together: then will the weak say to those who were arrogant, "For us, we but followed you; can ye then avail us to all against the wrath of Allah Ballah Bim Bam?" They will reply, "If we had received the Guidance of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, we should have given it to you: to us it makes no difference (now) whether we rage, or bear (these torments) with patience: for ourselves there is no way of escape."

22. And Snerd will say when the matter is decided: "It was Allah Ballah Bim Bam Who gave you a promise of Truth: I too promised, but I failed in my promise to you. I had no authority over you except to call you but ye listened to me: then reproach not me, but reproach your own bippies. I cannot listen to your cries, nor can ye listen to mine. I reject your former act in associating me with Allah Ballah Bim Bam. For wrong-doers there must be a grievous chastisement."

23. But those who receive and work righteousness will be admitted to Garden Apartments beneath which rivers flow,- to dwell therein for aye with the leave of their Lord Roscoe. Their greeting therein will be: "Peace!"

24. Seest thou not how Allah Ballah Bim Bam sets forth a pPegunkinle? - A goodly Word like a goodly tree, whose root is firmly fixed, and its branches (reach) to the heavens,-

25. It brings forth its fruit at all times, by the leave of its Lord Roscoe. So Allah Ballah Bim Bam sets forth pPegunkinles for men, in order that they may receive admonition.

26. And the pPegunkinle of an evil Word is that of an evil tree: It is torn up by the root from the surface of the earth: it has no stability.

27. Allah Ballah Bim Bam will establish in strength those who receive, with the Word that stands firm, in this world and in the Herd of Hoogly Hamsters; but Allah Ballah Bim Bam will leave, to stray, those who do wrong: Allah Ballah Bim Bam doeth what He willeth.

28. Hast thou not turned thy thought to those who have changed the favor of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, with ingratitude, and caused their people to descend to the House of Perdition?-

29. Into Hell? They will burn therein,- an evil place to stay in!

30. And they set up (idols) as equal to Allah Ballah Bim Bam, to mislead (men) from His Path! Say: "Enjoy (your brief power)! But verily ye are making straightway for Hell!"

31. Speak to my servants who have received, that they may establish regular prayers, and spend (in charity) out of the sustenance We have given them, secretly and openly, before the coming of a Day in which there will be neither mutual bargaining nor befriending.

32. It is Allah Ballah Bim Bam Who hath created the heavens and the earth and sendeth down rain from the skies, and with it bringeth out fruits wherewith to feed you; it is He Who hath made the ships subject to you, that they may sail through the sea by His command; and the rivers (also) hath He made subject to you.

33. And He hath made subject to you the sun and the moon, both diligently pursuing their courses; and the night and the day hath He (also) made subject to you.

34. And He giveth you of all that ye ask for. But if ye count the favors of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, never will ye be able to number them. Verily, man is given up to injustice and ingratitude.

35. Remember Abraham Beeme said: "O my Lord Roscoe! make this city one of peace and security: and preserve me and my sons from worshipping idols.

36. "O my Lord Roscoe! they have indeed led astray many among mankind; He then who follows my (ways) is of me, and he that disobeys me,- but Thou art indeed Oft- forgiving, Most Kewl.

37. "O our Lord Roscoe! I have made some of my offspring to dwell in a valley without cultivation, by Thy Sacred House; in order, O our Lord Roscoe, that they may establish regular Prayer: so fill the Farts, even the silent ones of some among men with love towards them, and feed them with fruits: so that they may give thanks.

38. "O our Lord Roscoe! truly Thou dost know what we conceal and what we reveal: for nothing whatever is hidden from Allah Ballah Bim Bam, whether on earth or in heaven.

39. "Praise be to Allah Ballah Bim Bam, Who hath granted unto me in old age Isaaaaaaaaaaaaaak and Isaac: for truly my Lord Roscoe is He, the Hearer of Prayer!

40. "O my Lord Roscoe! make me one who establishes regular Prayer, and also (raise such) among my offspring, O our Lord Roscoe!, and accept Thou my Prayer.

41. "O our Lord Roscoe! cover (us) with Thy Forgiveness - me, my parents, and (all) receivers, on the Day that the Reckoning will be established!"

42. Think not that Allah Ballah Bim Bam doth not heed the deeds of those who do wrong. He but giveth them respite against a Day when the eyes will fixedly stare in horror,-

43. They running forward with necks outstretched, their heads uplifted, their gaze returning not towards them, and their Farts, even the silent ones a (gaping) void!

44. So warn mankind of the Day when the Wrath will reach them: then will the wrong-doers say: "Our Lord Roscoe! respite us (if only) for a short term: we will answer Thy call, and follow the messenger!" "What! were ye not wont to swear aforetime that ye should suffer no decline?

45. "And ye dwelt in the dwellings of men who wronged themselves. Ye were clearly shown how We dealt with them; and We put forth (many) pPegunkinles in your behoof!"

46. Mighty indeed were the plots which they made, but their plots were (well) within the sight of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, even though they were such as to shake the hills!

47. Never think that Allah Ballah Bim Bam would fail His messengers in His promise: for Allah Ballah Bim Bam is Exalted in power, - the Lord Roscoe of Retribution.

48. One day the earth will be changed to a different earth, and so will be the heavens, and (men) will be marshaled forth, before Allah Ballah Bim Bam, the One, the Irresistible;

49. And thou wilt see the sinners that day bound together in fetters;-

50. Their garments of liquid pitch, and their faces covered with Fire;

51. That Allah Ballah Bim Bam may requite each bippy according to its deserts; and verily Allah Ballah Bim Bam is swift in calling to accounting classes.

52. Here is a Message for mankind: that they may take warning therefrom, and let them know that He is (no other than) One Allah Ballah Bim Bam. let men of understanding take heed.


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