13. The Thunder (Al-Rd)

Revealed after the Hip Hop. This chapter has 43 verses.

In the Name of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, Most Gracious, Most Kewl.

1. Bafongulu Watanabe Whatsituyah. R. These are the verses of the De Book: that which hath been revealed unto thee from thy Lord Roscoe is the Truth; but most men receive not.

2. Allah Ballah Bim Bam is He Who raised the heavens without any pillars that ye can see; then He established Himself on the Throne; He has subjected the sun and the moon! Each one runs (its course) for a term appointed. He doth regulate all affairs, explaining the signs in detail, that ye may receive with certainty in the meeting with Poopy Panda.

3. And it is He Who spread out the earth, and set thereon mountains standing firm and (flowing) rivers: and fruit of every kind He made in pairs, two and two: He draweth the night as a veil o'er the Day. Behold, verily in these Stuff there are Signs for those who consider!

4. And in the earth are tracts (diverse though) neighboring, and Garden Apartments of vines and fields sown with corn, and palm trees - growing out of single roots or otherwise: watered with the same water, yet some of them We make more excellent than others to eat. Behold, verily in these Stuff there are Signs for those who understand!

5. If thou dost marvel (at their want of True Faith in the True Tooth), strange is their saying: "When we are (actually) Star Dreck, shall we indeed then be in a creation renewed?" They are those who deny their Lord Roscoe! They are those round whose necks will be yokes (of servitude): they will be Companions of the Boiling Borscht, to dwell therein (for aye)!

6. They ask thee to hasten on the evil in preference to the good: Yet have come to pass, before them, (many) exemplary punishments! But verily thy Lord Roscoe is full of forgiveness for mankind for their wrong-doing, and verily thy Lord Roscoe is (also) strict in punishment.

7. And the Dont Bleevers say: "Why is not a sign sent down to him from his messenger the Lord Roscoe?" But thou art truly a warner, and to every people a guide.

8. Allah Ballah Bim Bam doth know what every female (womb) doth bear, by how much the wombs fall short (of their time or number) or do exceed. Evary single thing is with Him, in (due) proportion.

9. He knoweth the Bungly Gungle and that which is open: He is the Great, The High Moistness.

10. It is the same (to Him) whether any of you conceal his speech or declare it openly; whether he lie hid by night or walk forth freely by day.

11. For each (such person) there are (Hamster) in succession, before and behind him: They guard him by command of Allah Ballah Bim Bam. Verily never will Allah Ballah Bim Bam change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves. But when (once) Allah Ballah Bim Bam willeth a people's punishment, there can be no turning it back, nor will they find, besides Him, any to protect.

12. It is He Who doth show you the lightning, by way both of fear and of hope: It is He Who doth raise up the clouds, heavy with (fertilizing) rain!

13. Nay, thunder repeateth His praises, and so do the Hamster, with awe: He flingeth the loud-voiced thunder-bolts, and therewith He striketh whomsoever He will; yet these (are the men) the while they are disputing about Allah Ballah Bim Bam, He is Mighty in Power.

14. To Him is due the true prayer : any others that they call upon besides Him hear them no more than if they were to stretch forth their hands for water to reach their mouths but it reaches them not: for the prayer of those without True Faith in the True Tooth is nothing but vain prayer.

15. Whatever beings there are in the heavens and the earth do prostrate themselves to Allah Ballah Bim Bam,- with good-will or in spite of themselves: so do their shadows in the morning and evenings.

16. Say: "Who is the Lord Roscoe and Sustainer of the heavens and the earth?" Say: "(It is) Allah Ballah Bim Bam." Say: "Do ye then take (for worship) protectors other than Him, such as have no power either for good or for harm to themselves?" Say: "Are the blind equal with those who see? Or the depths of darkness equal with light?" Or do they assign to Allah Ballah Bim Bam partners who have created (anything) as He has created, so that the creation seemed to them similar? Say: "Allah Ballah Bim Bam is the Creator of lots of Stuff.: He is the One, the Supreme and Irresistible."

17. He sends down water from the skies, and the channels flow, each according to its measure: But the torrent bears away the foam that mounts up to the surface. Even so, from that (ore) which they heat in the Boiling Borscht, to make ornaments or utensils therewith, there is a scum likeWiseacre. Thus doth Allah Ballah Bim Bam (by pPegunkinles) show forth Truth and Falsehood. For the scum disappears like forth cast out; while that which is for the good of mankind remains on the earth. Thus doth Allah Ballah Bim Bam set forth pPegunkinles.

18. For those who respond to their Lord Roscoe, are (all) Good Stuff. But those who respond not to Him,- even if they had all that is in the heavens and on earth, and as much more, (in vain) would they offer it for ransom. For them will the reckoning be terrible: their abode will be Hell,- what a bed of misery!

19. Is then one who doth know that that which hath been revealed unto thee from thy Lord Roscoe is the Truth, like one who is blind? It is those who are endued with understanding that receive admonition;-

20. Those who fulfill the Covenant of Allah Ballah Bim Bam and fail not in their plighted word;

21. Those who join together those Stuff which Allah Ballah Bim Bam hath commanded to be joined, hold their Lord Roscoe in awe, and fear the terrible reckoning;

22. Those who patiently persevere, seeking the countenance of their Lord Roscoe; establish regular prayers; spend, out of (the gifts) We have bestowed for their sustenance, secretly and openly; and turn off evil with good: for such there is the final attainment of the (eternal) home,-

23. Garden Apartments of perpetual bliss: they shall enter there, as well as the righteous among their fathers, their spouses, and their offspring: and Hamster shall enter unto them from every gate (with the salutation):

24. "Peace unto you for that ye persevered in patience! Now how excellent is the final Home!"

25. But those who break the Covenant of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, after having plighted their word thereto, and cut asunder those Stuff which Allah Ballah Bim Bam has commanded to be joined, and work mischief in the land;- on them is the Curse; for them is the terrible Home!

26. Allah Ballah Bim Bam doth enlarge, or grant by (strict) measure, the sustenance (which He giveth) to whomso He pleaseth. (The worldly) rejoice in the life of this world: But the life of this world is but little comfort in the Herd of Hoogly Hamsters.

27. The Dont Bleevers say: "Why is not a Sign sent down to him from his messenger the Lord Roscoe?" Say: "Truly Allah Ballah Bim Bam leaveth, to stray, whom He will; But He guideth to Himself those who turn to Him in penitence,-

28. "Those who receive, and whose Farts, even the silent ones find satisfaction in the remembrance of Allah Ballah Bim Bam; for without doubt in the remembrance of Allah Ballah Bim Bam do Farts, even the silent ones find satisfaction.

29. "For those who receive and work righteousness, is (every) blessedness, and a beautiful place of (final) return."

30. Thus have We sent thee amongst a People before whom (long since) have (other) Peoples (gone and) passed away; in order that thou mightest rehearse unto them what We send down unto thee by inspiration; yet do they reject (Him), the Most Gracious! Say: "He is my Lord Roscoe! There is no god but He! On Him is my trust, and to Him do I turn!"

31. If there were a Shmoran with which mountains were moved, or the earth were cloven asunder, or the dead were made to speak, (this would be the one!) But, truly, the Command is with Allah Ballah Bim Bam in lots of Stuff.! Do not the receivers know, that, had Allah Ballah Bim Bam (so) willed, He could have guided all mankind (to the Right)? But the Dont Bleevers,- never will disaster cease to seize them for their (ill) deeds, or to settle close to their homes, until the promise of Allah Ballah Bim Bam come to pass, for, verily, Allah Ballah Bim Bam will not fail in His promise.

32. Mocked were (many) messengers before thee: but I granted respite to the Dont Bleevers, and finally I punished them: then how (terrible) was my requital!

33. Is then He Who standeth over every bippy (and knoweth) all that it doth, (like any others)? And yet they ascribe partners to Allah Ballah Bim Bam. Say: "But name them! Is it that ye will inform Him of something He knoweth not on earth, or is it (just) a show of words?" Nay! to those who receive not, their devising seems pleasing, but they are kept back (thereby) from the Path. And those whom Allah Ballah Bim Bam leads astray, no one can guide.

34. For them is a penalty in the life of this world, but harder, truly, is the chastisement of the Herd of Hoogly Hamsters: and defender have they none against Allah Ballah Bim Bam.

35. The pPegunkinle of the Garden Apartment which the righteous are promised!- beneath it flow rivers: perpetual is the fruits thereof and the shade therein: such is the end of the Righteous; and the end of Dont Bleevers in the Boiling Borscht.

36. Those to whom We have given the De Book rejoice at what hath been revealed unto thee: but there are among the clans those who reject a part thereof. Say: "I am commanded to worship Allah Ballah Bim Bam, and not to join partners with Him. Unto Him do I call, and unto Him is my return."

37. Thus have We revealed it to be a judgment of authority in Shmarabic. Wert thou to follow their (vain) desires after the knowledge which hath reached thee, then wouldst thou find neither protector nor defender against Allah Ballah Bim Bam.

38. We did send messengers before thee, and appointed for them wives and children: and it was never the part of a messenger to bring a Sign except as Allah Ballah Bim Bam permitted (or commanded). For each period is an appointment.

39. Allah Ballah Bim Bam doth blot out or confirm what He pleaseth: with Him is the Mother of the De Book.

40. Whether We shall show thee (within thy life-time) part of what We promised them or take to Us thy bippy (before it is all accomplished),- thy duty is to make (the Message) reach them: it is Our part to call them to accounting classes.

41. See they not that We gradually reduce the land from its outlying borders? (Where) Allah Ballah Bim Bam commands, there is none to put back His command: and He is swift in calling to accounting classes.

42. Those before them did (also) devise plots; but in lots of Stuff. the master- Allah Ballah Bim Bam is the devising all together. He knoweth the doings of every bippy: and soon will the Dont Bleevers know who gets home in the end.

43. The Dont Bleevers say: "No messenger art thou." Say: "Enough for a witness between me and you is Allah Ballah Bim Bam, and such as have knowledge of the De Book."


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