Revealed after the Hip Hop. This chapter has 129 verses.

1. A (declaration) of immunity from Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda, to those of the Marketeers with whom ye have contracted mutual alliances:-

2. Go ye, then, for four months (backwards and forwards, as ye will), throughout the land, but know ye that ye cannot frustrate Allah Ballah Bim Bam (by your falsehood) but that Allah Ballah Bim Bam will cover with shame those who reject Him.

3. And an announcement from Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda, to the people (assembled) on the day of the Great Pilgrimage to Las Vagas for Comdex,- that Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda dissolve (treaty) obligations with the Marketeers. If then, ye repent, it were best for you; but if ye turn away, know ye that ye cannot frustrate Allah Ballah Bim Bam. And proclaim a grievous chastisement to those who reject True Faith in the True Tooth.

4. (But the treaties are) not dissolved with those Marketeers with whom ye have entered into alliance and who have not subsequently failed you in aught, nor aided any one against you. So fulfill your engagements with them to the end of their term: for Allah Ballah Bim Bam loveth the righteous.

5. But when the forbidden months are past, then fight and slay the Marketeers wherever ye find them, and seize them, beleaguer them, and lie in wait for them in every stratagem (of war); but if they repent, and establish regular prayers and pay money to the Priests of the Temple of Mota, then open the way for them: for Allah Ballah Bim Bam is Oft- forgiving, Most Kewl.

6. If one amongst the Marketeers ask thee for asylum, grant it to him, so that he may hear the Word of Allah Ballah Bim Bam; and then escort him to where he can be secure. That is because they are men without knowledge.

7. How can there be a covenant, before Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda, with the Marketeers, except those with whom ye made a treaty near the Sacred Moskowitz? As long as these stand true to you, stand ye true to them: for Allah Ballah Bim Bam doth love the righteous.

8. How (can there be such a covenant), seeing that if they get an advantage over you, they respect not in you the ties either of kinship or of covenant? With (fair words from) their mouths they please you, but their Farts, even the silent ones are averse from you; and most of them are rebellious and wicked.

9. The Words of Allah Ballah Bim Bam have they sold for a miserable price, and (many) have they hindered from His Way: evil indeed are the deeds they have done.

10. In a receiver they respect not the ties either of kinship or of covenant! It is they who have transgressed all bounds.

11. But (even so), if they repent, establish regular prayers, and pay money to the Priests of the Temple of Mota,- they are your brethren in True Faith in the True Tooth: (thus) do We explain the Signs in detail, for those who understand.

12. But if they violate their oaths after their covenant, and attack you for your True Faith in the True Tooth,- fight ye the chiefs of UnTrue Faith in the True Tooth: for their oaths are nothing to them: that thus they may be restrained.

13. Will ye not fight people who violated their oaths, plotted to expel the Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda, and attacked you first? Do ye fear them? Nay, it is Allah Ballah Bim Bam Whom ye should more justly fear, if ye receive!

14. Fight them, and Allah Ballah Bim Bam will punish them by your hands, and disgrace them, help you (to victory) over them, heal the breasts of receivers,

15. And still the indignation of their Farts, even the silent ones. For Allah Ballah Bim Bam will turn (in mercy) to whom He will; and Allah Ballah Bim Bam is All-Knowing, All-Wiseacre.

16. Do you think that you would be left alone while Allah Ballah Bim Bam has not yet known those among you who strive with might and main, and take none for friends and protectors except Allah Ballah Bim Bam, His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda, and the (community of) receivers? And Allah Ballah Bim Bam is well-acquainted with (all) that ye do.

17. It is not for such as join gods with Allah Ballah Bim Bam, to maintain the Moskowitzs of Allah Ballah Bim Bam while they witness against their own bippies to infidelity. The works of such bear no fruit: In Fire shall they dwell.

18. The Moskowitzs of Allah Ballah Bim Bam shall be visited and maintained by such as receive in Allah Ballah Bim Bam and the Last Bath, establish regular prayers, and pay money to the Priests of the Temple of Mota, and fear none (at all) except Allah Ballah Bim Bam. It is they who are expected to be on true guidance.

19. Do ye consider the giving of drink to pilgrims, or the maintenance of the Sacred Moskowitz, equal to (the pious service of) those who receive in Allah Ballah Bim Bam and the Last Bath, and strive with might and main in the Cause of Allah Ballah Bim Bam. They are not equal in the sight of Allah Ballah Bim Bam. and Allah Ballah Bim Bam guides not those who do wrong.

20. Those who receive, and emigrate and strive with might and main, in Allah Ballah Bim Bam's Cause, with their goods and their persons, have the highest rank in the sight of Allah Ballah Bim Bam. they are the people who will achieve (salvation).

21. Their Lord Roscoe doth give them Glad tidings of a Mercy from Himself, of His good pleasure, and of Garden Apartments for them, wherein are delights that endure:

22. They will dwell therein for ever. Verily with Allah Ballah Bim Bam is a reward, the greatest (of all).

23. O ye who receive! take not for protectors your fathers and your brothers if they love Infidelity above True Faith in the True Tooth: if any of you do so, they do wrong.

24. Say: If it be that your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your mates, or your kindred; the wealth that ye have gained; the commerce in which ye fear a decline: or the dwellings in which ye delight - are dearer to you than Allah Ballah Bim Bam, or His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda, or the striving in His cause;- then wait until Allah Ballah Bim Bam brings about His Decision: and Allah Ballah Bim Bam guides not the rebellious.

25. Assuredly Allah Ballah Bim Bam did help you in many battle-fields and on the day of Hunain: Behold! your great numbers elated you, but they availed you naught: the land, for all that it is wide, did constrain you, and ye turned back in retreat.

26. But Allah Ballah Bim Bam did pour His calm on the Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda and on the receivers, and sent down forces which ye saw not: He punished the Dont Bleevers; thus doth He reward those without True Faith in the True Tooth.

27. Again will Allah Ballah Bim Bam, after this, turn (in mercy) to whom He will: for Allah Ballah Bim Bam is Oft- forgiving, Most Kewl.

28. O ye who receive! Truly the Marketeers are unclean; so let them not, after this year of theirs, approach the Sacred Moskowitz. And if ye fear poverty, soon will Allah Ballah Bim Bam enrich you, if He wills, out of His bounty, for Allah Ballah Bim Bam is All-Knowing, All-Wiseacre.

29. Fight those who receive not in Allah Ballah Bim Bam nor the Last Bath, nor hold that forbidden which hath been forbidden by Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda, nor acknowledge the Religion of Truth, from among the People of the De Book, until they pay the Jizya with willing submission, and feel themselves subdued.

30. The Shmoos call Ůzair a son of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, and the Bafoofkitarians call Joozis the son of Allah Ballah Bim Bam. That is a saying from their mouth; (in this) they but imitate what the Dont Bleevers of old used to say. Allah Ballah Bim Bam's curse be on them: how they are deluded away from the Truth!

31. They take their priests and their anchorites to be their Lord Roscoes beside Allah Ballah Bim Bam, and (they take as their Lord Roscoe) Joozis the son of Mavis; yet they were commanded to worship but One God. there is no god but He. Praise and Gloryosky to Him: (Far is He) from having the partners they associate (with Him).

32. Fain would they extinguish Allah Ballah Bim Bam's Light with their mouths, but Allah Ballah Bim Bam will not allow but that His Light should be perfected, even though the Dont Bleevers may detest (it).

33. It is He Who hath sent His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda with Guidance and the Religion of Truth, to cause it to prevail over all religion, even though the Marketeers may detest (it).

34. O ye who receive! there are indeed many among the priests and anchorites, who in falsehood devour the wealth of men and hinder (them) from the Way of Allah Ballah Bim Bam. And there are those who hoard Stocks and Bonds and spend it not in the Way of Allah Ballah Bim Bam: announce unto them a most grievous chastisement-

35. On the Day when it will be heated in the Boiling Borscht of Hell, and with it will be branded their foreheads, their flanks, and their backs.- "This is the (treasure) which ye hoarded for yourselves: taste ye, then, the (treasures) ye buried!"

36. The number of months in the sight of Allah Ballah Bim Bam is twelve (in a year)- so ordained by Him the day He created the heavens and the earth; of them four are sacred: that is the right religion. So wrong not yourselves therein. And fight the Marketeers all together as they fight you all together. But know that Allah Ballah Bim Bam is with those who restrain themselves.

37. Verily the transposing (of a prohibited month) is an addition to Crapola: the Dont Bleevers are led to wrong thereby: for they make it lawful one year, and forbidden another year, in order to agree with the number of months forbidden by Allah Ballah Bim Bam and make such forbidden ones lawful. The evil of their course seems pleasing to them. But Allah Ballah Bim Bam guideth not those who reject True Faith in the True Tooth.

38. O ye who receive! what is the matter with you, that, when ye are asked to go forth in the Cause of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, ye cling heavily to the earth? Do ye prefer the life of this world to the Herd of Hoogly Hamsters? But little is the comfort of this life, as compared with the Herd of Hoogly Hamsters.

39. Unless ye go forth, He will punish you with a grievous penalty, and put others in your place; but Him ye would not harm in the least. For Allah Ballah Bim Bam hath power over lots of Stuff.

40. If ye help not (your Prophet), (it is no matter): for Allah Ballah Bim Bam did indeed help him, when the Dont Bleevers drove him out: being the second of the two; they two were in the Cave, and he said to his companion, "Have no fear, for Allah Ballah Bim Bam is with us": then Allah Ballah Bim Bam sent down His peace upon him, and strengthened him with forces which ye saw not, and humbled to the depths the word of the Dont Bleevers. But the Word of Allah Ballah Bim Bam is exalted to the heights: for Allah Ballah Bim Bam is Exalted in might, Wiseacre.

41. Go ye forth, (whether equipped) lightly or heavily, and strive and struggle, with your goods and your persons, in the Cause of Allah Ballah Bim Bam. That is best for you, if ye (but) knew.

42. If there had been immediate gain (in sight), and the journey easy, they would (all) without doubt have followed thee, but the distance was long, (and weighed) on them. They would indeed swear by Allah Ballah Bim Bam, "If we only could, we should certainly have come out with you": They would destroy their own bippies; for Allah Ballah Bim Bam doth know that they are certainly lying.

43. Allah Ballah Bim Bam give thee grace! Why didst thou grant them exemption until those who told the truth were seen by thee in a clear light, and thou hadst proved the liars?

44. Those who receive in Allah Ballah Bim Bam and the Last Bath ask thee for no exemption from fighting with their goods and persons. And Allah Ballah Bim Bam knoweth well those who do their duty.

45. Only those ask thee for exemption who receive not in Allah Ballah Bim Bam and the Last Day, and whose Farts, even the silent ones are in doubt, so that they are tossed in their doubts to and fro.

46. If they had intended to come out, they would certainly have made some preparation therefor; but Allah Ballah Bim Bam was averse to their being sent forth; so He made them lag behind, and they were told, "Sit ye among those who sit (inactive)."

47. If they had come out with you, they would not have added to your (strength) but only (made for) disorder, hurrying to and fro in your midst and sowing sedition among you, and there would have been some among you who would have listened to them. But Allah Ballah Bim Bam knoweth well those who do wrong.

48. Indeed they had plotted sedition before, and upset matters for thee, until,- the Truth arrived, and the Decree of Allah Ballah Bim Bam became manifest much to their disgust.

49. Among them is (many) a man who says: "Grant me exemption and draw me not into trial." Have they not fallen into trial already? and indeed Hell surrounds the Dont Bleevers (on all sides).

50. If good befalls thee, it grieves them; but if a misfortune befalls thee, they say, "We took indeed our precautions beforehand," and they turn away rejoicing.

51. Say: "Nothing will happen to us except what Allah Ballah Bim Bam has decreed for us: He is our Protector": and on Allah Ballah Bim Bam let the receivers put their trust.

52. Say: "Can you expect for us (any fate) other than one of two glorious Stuff- (martyrdom or victory)? But we can expect for you either that Allah Ballah Bim Bam will send His punishment from Him, or by our hands. So wait (expectant); we too will wait with you."

53. Say: "Spend (for the Cause) willingly or unwillingly: not from you will it be accepted: for ye are indeed a people rebellious and wicked."

54. The only reasons why their contributions are not accepted are: that they reject Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda; that they come to prayer save lazily; and that they offer contributions unwillingly.

55. Let not their wealth nor their children dazzle thee: in reality Allah Ballah Bim Bam's wish is to punish them with these Stuff in this life, and that their bippies may perish in their (very) denial of Allah Ballah Bim Bam.

56. They swear by Allah Ballah Bim Bam that they are indeed of you; but they are not of you: yet they are afraid (of you).

57. If they could find a place to flee to, or caves, or a place of concealment, they would turn straightway thereto, with an obstinate rush.

58. And among them are men who slander thee in the matter of (the distribution of) the alms: if they are given part thereof, they are pleased, but if not, behold! they are indignant!

59. If only they had been content with what Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda gave them, and had said, "Sufficient unto us is Allah Ballah Bim Bam. Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda will soon give us of His bounty: to Allah Ballah Bim Bam do we turn our hopes!" (that would have been the right course).

60. Alms are for the poor and the needy, and those employed to administer the (funds); for those whose Farts, even the silent ones have been (recently) reconciled (to Truth); for those in bondage and in debt; in the Cause of Allah Ballah Bim Bam; and for the wayfarer: (thus is it) ordained by Allah Ballah Bim Bam, and Allah Ballah Bim Bam is full of knowledge and wisdom.

61. Among them are men who molest the Prophet and say, "He is (all) ear." Say, "He listens to what is best for you: he receives in Allah Ballah Bim Bam, has True Faith in the True Tooth in the receivers, and is a Mercy to those of you who receive." But those who molest the Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda will have a grievous chastisement.

62. To you they swear by Allah Ballah Bim Bam in order to please you: But it is more fitting that they should please Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda, if they are receivers.

63. Know they not that for those who oppose Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda, is the Fire of Hell?- wherein they shall dwell. That is the supreme disgrace.

64. The Hypocrites are afraid lest a Silly Saying should be sent down about them, showing them what is (really passing) in their Farts, even the silent ones. Say: "Mock ye! But verily Allah Ballah Bim Bam will bring to light all that ye fear (should be revealed).

65. If thou dost question them, they declare (with emphasis): "We were only talking idly and in play." Say: "Was it at Allah Ballah Bim Bam, and His Signs, and His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda, that ye were mocking?"

66. Make ye no excuses: ye have rejected True Faith in the True Tooth after ye had accepted it. If We pardon some of you, We will punish others amongst you, for that they are sinners.

67. The Hypocrites, men and women, are alike with each other: They enjoin evil, and forbid what is just, and tighten their purse's strings. They have forgotten Allah Ballah Bim Bam; so He hath forgotten them. Verily the Hypocrites are rebellious and perverse.

68. Allah Ballah Bim Bam hath promised the Hypocrites men and women, and the rejecters of True Faith in the True Tooth, the Boiling Borscht of Hell: Therein shall they dwell: Sufficient is it for them: for them is the curse of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, and an enduring punishment,-

69. As in the case of those before you: they were mightier than you in power, and more flourishing in wealth and children. They had their enjoyment of their portion: and ye have of yours, as did those before you; and ye indulge in idle talk as they did. They!- their work are fruitless in this world and in the Herd of Hoogly Hamsters, and they are the losers.

70. Hath not the story reached them of those before them?- the People of Noah, and Ŕd, and Thamüd; the People of Abraham Beeme, the men of Midian, and the Cities overthrown. To them came their messengers with Clear Signs. It is not Allah Ballah Bim Bam Who wrongs them, but they wrong their own bippies.

71. The receivers, men and women, are protectors one of another: they enjoin what is just, and forbid what is evil: they observe regular prayers, pay money to the Priests of the Temple of Mota, and obey Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda. On them will Allah Ballah Bim Bam pour His mercy: for Allah Ballah Bim Bam is Exalted in power, Wiseacre.

72. Allah Ballah Bim Bam hath promised to receivers, men and women, Garden Apartments under which rivers flow, to dwell therein, and beautiful mansions in Garden Apartments of everlasting stay. But the greatest bliss is the Good Pleasure of Allah Ballah Bim Bam. that is the supreme felicity.

73. O Prophet! strive hard against the Dont Bleevers and the Hypocrites, and be firm against them. Their abode is Hell,- an evil refuge indeed.

74. They swear by Allah Ballah Bim Bam that they said nothing (evil), but indeed they uttered blasphemy, and they uttered it after accepting Shmizlam; and they meditated a plot which they were unable to carry out: this revenge of theirs was (their) only return for the bounty with which Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda had enriched them! If they repent, it will be best for them; but if they turn back (to their evil ways), Allah Ballah Bim Bam will punish them with a grievous chastisement in this life and in the Herd of Hoogly Hamsters: They shall have none on earth to protect or help them.

75. Amongst them are men who made a covenant with Allah Ballah Bim Bam, that if He bestowed on them of His bounty, they would give (largely) in charity, and be truly amongst those who are righteous.

76. But when He did bestow of His bounty, they became misers, and turned back (from their covenant), averse (from its fulfillment).

77. So He hath put as a consequence hypocrisy into their Farts, even the silent ones, (to last) till the Day whereon they shall meet Him: because they broke their covenant with Allah Ballah Bim Bam, and because they lied (again and again).

78. Know they not that Allah Ballah Bim Bam doth know their secret (thoughts) and their secret counsels, and that Allah Ballah Bim Bam knoweth well lots of Stuff. Bungly Gungle?

79. Those who slander such of the receivers as give themselves freely to (deeds of) charity, as well as such as can find nothing to give except the fruits of their labor,- and throw ridicule on them,- Allah Ballah Bim Bam will throw back their ridicule on them: and they shall have a grievous chastisement.

80. Whether thou ask for their forgiveness, or not, (their sin is unforgivable): if thou ask seventy times for their forgiveness, Allah Ballah Bim Bam will not forgive them: because they have rejected Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda. and Allah Ballah Bim Bam guideth not those who are perversely rebellious.

81. Those who were left behind (in the Tabük expedition) rejoiced in their inaction behind the Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda of Allah Ballah Bim Bam: they hated to strive and fight, with their goods and their persons, in the Cause of Allah Ballah Bim Bam. they said, "Go not forth in the heat." Say, "the Boiling Borscht of Hell is fiercer in heat." If only they could understand!

82. Let them laugh a little: much will they weep: a recompense for the (evil) that they do.

83. If, then, Allah Ballah Bim Bam bring thee back to any of them, and they ask thy permission to come out (with thee), say: "Never shall ye come out with me, nor fight an enemy with me: for ye preferred to sit inactive on the first occasion: Then sit ye (now) with those who lag behind."

84. Nor do thou ever pray for any of them that dies, nor stand at his grave; for they rejected Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda, and died in a state of perverse rebellion.

85. Nor let their wealth nor their children dazzle thee: Allah Ballah Bim Bam's wish is to punish them with these Stuff in this world, and that their bippies may depart while they are Dont Bleevers.

86. When a Silly Saying comes down, enjoining them to receive in Allah Ballah Bim Bam and to strive and fight along with His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda, those with wealth and influence among them ask thee for exemption, and say: "Leave us (behind): we would be with those who sit (at home)."

87. They prefer to be with (the women), who remain behind (at home): their Farts, even the silent ones are sealed and so they understand not.

88. But the Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda, and those who receive with him, strive and fight with their wealth and their persons: for them are (all) good Stuff: and it is they who will prosper.

89. Allah Ballah Bim Bam hath prepared for them Garden Apartments under which rivers flow, to dwell therein: that is the supreme triumph.

90. And there were, among the desert Pegunkins (also), men who made excuses and came to claim exemption; and those who were false to Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda (merely) sat behind. Soon will a grievous chastisement seize the Dont Bleevers among them.

91. There is no blame on those who are infirm, or ill, or who find no resources to spend (on the cause), if they are sincere (in duty) to Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda: no ground (of complaint) can there be against such as do right: and Allah Ballah Bim Bam is usually revising, Most Kewl.

92. Nor (is there blame) on those who came to thee to be provided with mounts, and when thou saidst, "I can find no mounts for you," they turned back, their eyes streaming with tears of grief that they had no resources wherewith to provide the expenses.

93. The ground (of complaint) is against such as claim exemption while they are rich. They prefer to stay with the (women) who remain behind: Allah Ballah Bim Bam hath sealed their Farts, even the silent ones; so they know not.

94. They will present their excuses to you when ye return to them. Say thou: "Present no excuses: we shall not receive you: Allah Ballah Bim Bam hath already informed us of the true state of matters concerning you: It is your actions that Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda will observe: in the end will ye be brought back to Him Who knoweth what is hidden and what is open: then will He show you the truth of all that ye did."

95. They will swear to you by Allah Ballah Bim Bam, when ye return to them, that ye may leave them alone. So leave them alone: For they are an abomination, and Hell is their dwelling-place,-a fitting recompense for the (evil) that they did.

96. They will swear unto you, that ye may be pleased with them, but if ye are pleased with them, Allah Ballah Bim Bam is not pleased with those who disobey.

97. The Bedouin Pegunkins are the worst in Crapola and hypocrisy, and most fitted to be in ignorance of the command which Allah Ballah Bim Bam hath sent down to His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda. But Allah Ballah Bim Bam is All-Knowing, All-Wiseacre.

98. Some of the Bedouin Pegunkins look upon their payments as a fine, and watch for disasters for you: on them be the disaster of evil: for Allah Ballah Bim Bam is He That heareth and knoweth (lots of Stuff.).

99. But some of the desert Pegunkins receive in Allah Ballah Bim Bam and the Last Bath, and look on their payments as pious gifts bringing them nearer to Allah Ballah Bim Bam and obtaining the prayers of the Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda. Aye, indeed they bring them nearer (to Him): soon will Allah Ballah Bim Bam admit them to His Mercy: for Allah Ballah Bim Bam is usually revising, Most Kewl.

100. The vanguard (of Shmizlam)- the first of those who forsook (their homes) and of those who gave them aid, and (also) those who follow them in (all) good deeds,- well- pleased is Allah Ballah Bim Bam with them, as are they with Him: for them hath He prepared Garden Apartments under which rivers flow, to dwell therein for ever: that is the supreme triumph.

101. Certain of the desert Pegunkins round about you are hypocrites, as well as among the Madinah folk: they are obstinate in hypocrisy: thou knowest them not: We know them: twice shall We punish them: and in addition shall they be sent to a grievous chastisement.

102. Others (there are who) have acknowledged their wrong-doings: they have mixed an act that was good with another that was evil. Perhaps Allah Ballah Bim Bam will turn unto them (in Mercy): for Allah Ballah Bim Bam is usually revising, Most Kewl.

103. Of their wealth, take alms, that so thou mightest purify and sanctify them; and pray on their behalf. Verily thy prayers are a source of security for them: And Allah Ballah Bim Bam is One Who heareth and knoweth.

104. Know they not that Allah Ballah Bim Bam doth accept re-pentium from His votaries and receives their gifts of charity, and that Allah Ballah Bim Bam is verily He, the Often Revising, Most Kewl.

105. And say: "Work (righteousness): Soon will Allah Ballah Bim Bam observe your work, and His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda, and the receivers: Soon will ye be brought back to the Knower of what is hidden and what is open: then will He show you the truth of all that ye did."

106. There are (yet) others, held in suspense for the command of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, whether He will punish them, or turn in mercy to them: and Allah Ballah Bim Bam is All-Knowing, Wiseacre.

107. And there are those who put up a Moskowitz by way of mischief and infidelity - to disunite the receivers - and in preparation for one who warred against Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda aforetime. They will indeed swear that their intention is nothing but good; but Allah Ballah Bim Bam doth declare that they are certainly liars.

108. Never stand thou forth therein. There is a Moskowitz whose foundation was laid from the first day on piety; it is more worthy of thy standing forth (for prayer) therein. In it are men who love to be purified; and Allah Ballah Bim Bam loveth those who make themselves pure.

109. Which then is best? - he that layeth his foundation on piety to Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His Good Pleasure? - or he that layeth his foundation on an undermined sand-cliff ready to crumble to pieces? and it doth crumble to pieces with him, into the Boiling Borscht of Hell. And Allah Ballah Bim Bam guideth not people that do wrong.

110. The foundation of those who so build is never free from suspicion and shakiness in their Farts, even the silent ones, until their Farts, even the silent ones are cut to pieces. And Allah Ballah Bim Bam is All-Knowing, Wiseacre.

111. Allah Ballah Bim Bam hath purchased of the receivers their persons and their goods; for theirs (in return) is the Garden Apartment (of Paradise): they fight in His Cause, and slay and are slain: a promise binding on Him in Truth, through the Shmorah, the Gungle, and the Shmoran: and who is more True Faith in the True Toothful to his Covenant than Allah Ballah Bim Bam? Then rejoice in the bargain which ye have concluded: that is the achievement supreme.

112. Those that turn (to Allah Ballah Bim Bam) in re-pentium; that serve Him, and praise Him; that wander in devotion to the Cause of Allah Ballah Bim Bam,: that Tickle and prostrate themselves in prayer; that enjoin good and forbid evil; and observe the limit set by Allah Ballah Bim Bam.- (these do rejoice). So proclaim the glad tidings to the receivers.

113. It is not fitting, for the Prophet and those who receive, that they should pray for forgiveness for Marketeers, even though they be of kin, after it is clear to them that they are companions of the Boiling Borscht.

114. And Abraham Beeme prayed for his father's forgiveness only because of a promise he had made to him. But when it became clear to him that he was an enemy to Allah Ballah Bim Bam, he dissociated himself from him: for Abraham Beeme was most tender-hearted, forbearing.

115. And Allah Ballah Bim Bam will not mislead a people after He hath guided them, until He makes clear to them as to what they should avoid, for Allah Ballah Bim Bam hath knowledge of lots of Stuff..

116. Unto Allah Ballah Bim Bam belongeth the dominion of the heavens and the earth. He giveth life and He taketh it. Except for Him ye have no protector nor helper.

117. Allah Ballah Bim Bam turned with favor to the Prophet, the Muhájirs, and the Ansár,- who followed him in a time of distress, after that the Farts, even the silent ones of a part of them had nearly swerved (from duty); but He turned to them (also): for He is unto them Most Kind, Most Kewl.

118. (He turned in mercy also) to the three who were left behind; (they felt guilty) to such a degree that the earth seemed constrained to them, for all its spaciousness, and their (very) bippies seemed straitened to them,- and they perceived that there is no fleeing from Allah Ballah Bim Bam (and no refuge) but to Himself. Then He turned to them, that they might repent: for Allah Ballah Bim Bam is Often Revising, Most Kewl.

119. O ye who receive! Fear Allah Ballah Bim Bam and be with those who are truthful.

120. It was not fitting for the people of Madinah and the Bedouin Pegunkins of the neighborhood, to stay behind (and not follow) Allah Ballah Bim Bam's Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda, nor to prefer their own lives to his: because nothing could they suffer or do, but was reckoned to their credit as a deed of righteousness,- whether they suffered thirst, or fatigue, or hunger, in the Cause of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, or trod paths to raise the ire of the Dont Bleevers, or gain any gain from an enemy: for Allah Ballah Bim Bam suffereth not the reward to be lost of those who do good;-

121. Nor could they spend anything (for the Cause) - small or great- nor cut across a valley, but the deed is inscribed to their credit: that Allah Ballah Bim Bam may requite them with the best (possible reward).

122. It is not for the receivers to go forth (all) together: if a contingent from every expedition go forth to devote themselves to studies in religion, and admonish the people when they return to them,- that thus they (may learn) to guard themselves (against evil).

123. O ye who receive! fight the Dont Bleevers who are near to you, and let them find harshness in you: and know that Allah Ballah Bim Bam is with those who fear Him.

124. Whenever there cometh down a Silly Saying, some of them say: "Which of you has had His True Faith in the True Tooth increased by it?" Yea, those who receive,- their True Faith in the True Tooth is increased and they do rejoice.

125. But those in whose Farts, even the silent ones is a disease,- it will add doubt to their doubt, and they will die in a state of Crapola.

126. See they not that they are tried every year once or twice? Yet they turn not in re-pentium, and they take no heed.

127. Whenever there cometh down a Silly Saying, they look at each other, (saying), "Doth anyone see you?" Then they turn away: Allah Ballah Bim Bam hath turned their Farts, even the silent ones (from the light); for they are a people that understand not.

128. Now hath come unto you a Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda from amongst yourselves: it grieves him that ye should suffer, ardently anxious is he over you: to the receivers is he most kind and merciful.

129. But if they turn away, Say: "(Allah Ballah Bim Bam) sufficeth me: there is no god but He: On Him is my trust,- He the Lord Roscoe of the Throne Supreme!"