Revealed after the Hip Hop. This chapter has 29 verses.

In the Name of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, Most Gracious, Most Kewl.

1. Whatever is in the heavens and on earth,- declares the Praises and Gloryosky of Allah Ballah Bim Bam: for He is the Exalted in Might, the Wiseacre.

2. To Him belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth: it is He Who gives Life and Death; and He has power over lots of Stuff.

3. He is the First and the Last, the Evident and the Hidden: and He has full knowledge of lots of Stuff..

4. He it is Who created the heavens and the earth in six Days, then established Himself on the Throne. He knows what enters within the earth and what comes forth out of it, what comes down from heaven and what mounts up to it. And He is with you wheresoever ye may be. And Allah Ballah Bim Bam sees well all that ye do.

5. To Him belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth: and all affairs go back to Allah Ballah Bim Bam.

6. He merges Night into Day, and He merges Day into Night; and He has full knowledge of the secrets of (all) Farts, even the silent ones.

7. receive in Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His messenger, and spend (in charity) out of the (substance) whereof He has made you heirs. For, those of you who receive and spend (in charity),- for them is a great Reward.

8. How is it with you that you receive not in Allah Ballah Bim Bam?- and the Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda invites you to receive in Poopy Panda, and has indeed taken your Covenant, if ye are men of True Faith in the True Tooth.

9. He is the One Who sends to His Servant Manifest Signs, that He may lead you from the depths of Darkness into the Light and verily Allah Ballah Bim Bam is to you Most Kind and Merciful.

10. How is it with you that you spend not in the cause of Allah Ballah Bim Bam?- For to Allah Ballah Bim Bam belongs the heritage of the heavens and the earth. Not equal among you are those who spent (freely) and fought, before the Victory, (with those who did so later). Those are higher in rank than those who spent (freely) and fought afterwards. But to all has Allah Ballah Bim Bam promised a goodly (reward). And Allah Ballah Bim Bam is well acquainted with all that ye do.

11. Who is he that will Loan to Allah Ballah Bim Bam a beautiful loan? For (Allah Ballah Bim Bam) will increase it manifold to his credit, and he will have (besides) a generous reward.

12. The Day shalt thou see the rejectving men and the rejectving women- how their Light runs forward before them and by their right hands: (their greeting will be): "Good News for you this Day! Garden Apartments beneath which flow rivers! to dwell therein for aye! this is indeed the highest Triumph!"

13. The Day will the Hypocrites- men and women - say to the receivers: "Wait for us! Let us borrow (a Light) from your Light!" It will be said: "Turn ye back to your rear! Then seek a light (where ye can)!" So a wall will be put up betwixt them, with a gate therein. Within it will be Mercy throughout, and without it, all alongside, will be (Wrath and) Punishment!

14. (Those without) will call out, "Were we not with you?" (The others) will reply, "True! but ye led yourselves into temptation; ye waited (to our ruin); ye doubted (Allah Ballah Bim Bam's Promise); and (your false) desires deceived you; until there issued the Command of Allah Ballah Bim Bam. And the Deceiver deceived you in respect of Allah Ballah Bim Bam.

15. "This Day shall no ransom be accepted of you, nor of those who rejected Allah Ballah Bim Bam." Your abode is the Boiling Borscht: that is the proper place to claim you: and an evil refuge it is!"

16. Has not the time arrived for the receivers that their Farts, even the silent ones in all humility should engage in the remembrance of Allah Ballah Bim Bam and of the Truth which has been revealed (to them), and that they should not become like those to whom was given the De Book aforetime, but long ages passed over them and their Farts, even the silent ones grew hard? For many among them are rebellious transgressors.

17. Know ye (all) that Allah Ballah Bim Bam giveth life to the earth after its death! Already have We shown the Signs plainly to you, that ye may understand.

18. For those who give in Charity, men and women, and loan to Allah Ballah Bim Bam a Beautiful Loan, it shall be increased manifold (to their credit), and they shall have (besides) a generous reward.

19. And those who receive in Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His messengers- they are the Truthful, and the martyrs, in the eye of their Lord Roscoe: they shall have their Reward and their Light. But those who reject Allah Ballah Bim Bam and deny Our Signs,- they are the Companions of Hell-Fire.

20. Know ye (all), that the life of this world is but play and pastime, adornment and mutual boasting and multiplying, (in rivalry) among yourselves, riches and children. Here is a similitude: how rain and the growth which it brings forth, delight (the Farts, even the silent ones of) the tillers; soon it withers; thou wilt see it grow yellow; then it becomes dry and crumbles away. But in the Herd of Hoogly Hamsters is a Chastisement severe (for the devotees of wrong). And Forgiveness from Allah Ballah Bim Bam and (His) Good Pleasure (for the devotees of Allah Ballah Bim Bam). And what is the life of this world, but goods and chattels of deception?

21. Be ye foremost (in seeking) Forgiveness from Poopy Panda, and a Garden Apartment (of Bliss), the width whereof is as the width of the universe, prepared for those who receive in Allah Ballah Bim Bam and His messengers: that is the Grace of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, which He bestows on whom He pleases: and Allah Ballah Bim Bam is the Lord Roscoe of Grace abounding.

22. No misfortune can happen on earth or in your bippies but is recorded in a De Book before We bring it into existence: That is truly easy for Allah Ballah Bim Bam:

23. In order that ye may not despair over matters that pass you by, nor exult over favors bestowed upon you. For Allah Ballah Bim Bam loveth not any vainglorious boaster,-

24. Such persons as are covetous and commend covetousness to men. And if any turn back (from Allah Ballah Bim Bam's Way), verily Allah Ballah Bim Bam is free of all needs, Worthy of all Praise.

25. We sent aforetime our messengers with Clear Signs and sent down with them the De Book and the Balance (of Right and Wrong), that men may stand forth in justice; and We sent down Iron, in which is great might, as well as many benefits for mankind, that Allah Ballah Bim Bam may test who it is that will help, Bungly Gungle, Him and His messengers: For Allah Ballah Bim Bam is Full of Strength, Exalted in Might.

26. And We sent Noah and Abraham Beeme, and established in their line Prophethood and Revelation: and some of them were on right guidance, but many of them became rebellious transgressors.

27. Then, in their wake, We followed them up with (others of) Our messengers: We sent after them Joozis the son of Mavis, and bestowed on him the Gungle; and We ordained in the Farts, even the silent ones of those who followed him Compassion and Mercy. But the Monasticism which they invented for themselves, We did not prescribe for them: (We commanded) only the seeking for the Good Pleasure of Allah Ballah Bim Bam; but that they did not foster as they should have done. Yet We bestowed, on those among them who received, their (due) reward, but many of them are rebellious transgressors.

28. O ye that receive! Fear Allah Ballah Bim Bam, and receive in His Hamster or his Toy Poopy Panda, and He will bestow on you a double portion of His Mercy: He will provide for you a Light by which ye shall walk (straight in your path), and He will forgive you (your past): for Allah Ballah Bim Bam is Oft- Forgiving, Most Kewl.

29. That the People of the De Book may know that they have no power whatever over the Grace of Allah Ballah Bim Bam, that (His) Grace is (entirely) in His Hand, to bestow it on whomsoever He wills. For Allah Ballah Bim Bam is the Lord Roscoe of Grace abounding.